


In War, Victory; In Peace, Vigilance; In Death, Sacrifice

by Louise_panda_Belcher



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Dragons, F/F, Fantasy AU, Monsters, Slow Burn, eventually, mage!Juliana, valentina with a sword, warrior!Valentina
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:35:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23020306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louise_panda_Belcher/pseuds/Louise_panda_Belcher
Summary: Juliana is a Circle mage running from a fate worse than death. Valentina is a noble warrior who is suffering from the death of the king at the hand of one of Ferelden's greatest heroes. When they meet in the small town of Lothering they find themselves being pulled into a war neither had any intention of fighting and taking care of an orphaned elf boy who wedges his way into their hearts.
Relationships: Valentina Carvajal/Juliana Valdés
Comments: 21
Kudos: 58





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own neither of these fandoms, worlds or characters.
> 
> I own exactly four-ish characters and that's it.
> 
> Universe information that may be helpful: Ferelden is essentially medieval England. Orlais is basically France. Antiva is Spain/Italy, never really clear. Rivain is kind of Romania? my understanding is that they are a Gypsy society, sorry if that isn't proper terminology. Nevarra is golden age Greece/Rome-esque. The Tevinter Imperium is like ancient Rome but darker and more 'evil'. The Free Marches are independent city-states. The Anderfels is kind of like Germany before Germany was even a thing. If I missed any countries let me know.
> 
> The Chantry is essentially Christianity but inverted. Instead of a Pope they have a female Divine. The Maker is God, Andraste is his holy prophet.
> 
> The Fade is a dream realm where demons and spirits roam.

And So is the Golden City blackened  
With each step you take in my Hall.  
Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting.  
You have brought Sin to Heaven  
And doom upon all the world.  
-Threnodies 8:13

* * *

The Chantry teaches us that it is the hubris of men which brought the darkspawn into our world. The mages had sought to usurp Heaven, but instead they destroyed it.

They were cast out, twisted and cursed by their own corruption.

They returned as monsters. The first of the darkspawn.

They became a blight upon the lands, unstoppable and relentless.

The Dwarven kingdoms were the first to fall. And from the Deep Roads, the darkspawn drove at us again, and again. Until finally, we neared annihilation.

Until the Grey Wardens came. Men and women from every race; warriors and mages, barbarians and kings. 

The Grey Wardens sacrificed everything, to stem the tide of darkspawn, and prevail.

It has been four centuries since that victory, and we have kept our vigil; we have watched and waited for the darkspawn to return, but those who once called us heroes, have forgotten. 

We are few now, and our warnings have been ignored for too long.

It may even be too late, for I have seen with my own eyes, what lies on the horizon.

Maker help us all.

* * *

The Circle of Magi exists to protect mages from a world that fears them, or so the young apprentices that are brought there are told. In truth, it exists as much to protect the world from the mages themselves. A time once existed when mages ruled the known world, bringing down ruin upon their enemies until at last they were overthrown. Now they are watched carefully by the templars, mage-hunters aligned with the Chantry priests who would not hesitate to strike down any mage at the first sign of corruption.

For the temptations offered to mages are many. Their power draws demons to them from the Fade, demons that will attempt to wrest control of a mage's body and transform her into a vile abomination. What these demons cannot take by force, they will sometimes attempt to take through deceit, offering knowledge of forbidden blood magic that allows a mage to control the minds of others and use the victims' very life force to fuel her power, leading her down a dark and destructive path.

All apprentices are taught to resist these temptations in the Circle of Magi, and the day comes when they must pass their final test, the Harrowing. They are thrown to the wolves, given over to a demon to either summon the willpower needed to defeat it or be possessed and die at templar hands. If the apprentice refuses they are made Tranquil, cut off from all emotion and magic and rendered unable to be possessed – for their own good. There are no other options, save to flee and be branded an apostate and thus hunted by the templars forever.

Welcome to the Circle, and life as a mage in Thedas, where the power to command the forces of magic comes with a price.

* * *

On a cliff overlooking the dark waters of Lake Calenhad stands the tower fortress that is home to the Circle of Magi. This tower is the only place in Ferelden where mages may study their art among others of their kind. Within the high stone walls, the circle practices its magic and trains apprentices in the proper use of their powers. But the Circle Tower is as much a prison as a refuge; the ever-vigilant templars of the Chantry watch over all mages, constantly alert for any sign of corruption. This gilded cage is the only world you know. Found to be sensitive to magic at a young age, you were torn from your family and grafted here as an apprentice.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's planning a 'prison break'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not edit this. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Also most of this story will be from Juliana's perspective, Valentina's will come in sometimes.

“You can’t be serious!” A man’s voice sounded through the hall and she stopped to listen in. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this, she wasn’t even supposed to be here, but she had been ordered to take the documents in her hands to Senior Enchanter Sweeney, and he was said to be in his bedroom. So, here she was, eavesdropping on a conversation between the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander.

“Irving, you know this is best,” Another man’s voice replies. He sounds almost bored with the entire conversation.

“It’s ludicrous! Greagoir, she is no threat to anyone,” Irving tried. “It isn’t completely odd that she has mast-”

“She has an overwhelming talent with death!” Greagoir screams. The sound of his hands slamming against the wooden table reverberates in the large stone room. She can see his shadow on the floor, his hands moving to brush over his head. “She may not be a threat to us now, but I warn you Irving, Juliana Valdes _will_ become a threat soon enough, and the only way to prevent that is-”

“The Rite of Tranquility,” Irving finished, he sounded defeated and saddened at what that meant.

 _Me? It can’t be._ She froze. She stopped breathing. Her whole world was about to end and there was nothing she could do about it.

“When will it be done?” Irving asked.

“A month,” Greagoir answered. “Remember that this is to remain quiet, between us.” He stood up and started making his way to the door and Juliana struggled to move.

“Juliana,” an older male voice called out to her. She quickly jumped away from the door and walked forward.

“Good afternoon, Senior Enchanter. I have these documents for you,” she said as she handed them over. She looked behind her and was glad that for whatever reason he hadn’t stepped out. The old man took the documents and smiled before turning around and returning to his room. Juliana let out a breath before she took off down down the hall and down stone steps, fighting every step of the way to not let the tears fall.

* * *

“Juliana,” a voice softly called out. “Juliana,” she recognized the voice now. It was her friend, Leanos.

It makes sense, she thinks, that his name means light. His gift was fire, he was a bringer of light. He stormed into her life and brought a light into it that had been extinguished when she was first brought to the Circle Tower. His big bright light grey eyes shining in the light that streamed in through the windows. He was beautiful, in the most objective of ways. His hair was dark and silky, braided at his temples and pulled back, a natural crown. His pointed ears only seemed to accentuate his sharp angular jaw and his cheekbones helped draw attention to his eyes. Those eyes that drove every other girl in the tower crazy, but only reminded Juliana of her mother.

And then the light fizzled out, until he’d poked her side and wouldn’t stop until she chased him around their rooms. It was the first time she’d laughed since she was brought to the Tower. Since she’d been torn from her mother’s arms, since her father accepted the coinpurse the templars handed him. What hurt more was that it was her father who had torn her from her mother. Her father handed her over to the templars. Her father gave her away in exchange for some coin. She’d only been 4.

But Leanos made her laugh and brought her back from a deep sadness that had seeped into her very soul. It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried before, but every other apprentice was much older than her and no one wanted the ‘baby’ around. Leanos was different, not just for his elf-ness, but also for his kindness. So, when he offered his hand and asked to be friends, Juliana smiled happily and accepted.

They’d been friends ever since. Pulling pranks on the Senior Enchanters and mages alike, usually hiding behind the giant statues in the dining hall to avoid punishment. They’d grown up together in the Tower and now, it would only be Leanos grown, learning, because she was going to be made tranquil. Never before had she wished so much to not be a mage than now.

“Juliana,” he called again, closer this time. “Juli-”

“Elf boy,” she spoke quietly, though her voice still cracked and betrayed her sorrow.

“Human girl,” he replied just as quietly with a small grin, though he now stood up straight. His robes were wrinkled, probably from falling over every time his potions didn’t turn out the way they were supposed to. She would miss this, taking joy in knowing that he would always be up to mischief regardless of what he did or how much trouble he would get into. “What are you doing here… in the summonings section?” he asked, his brow furrowing as he picked up a book from the stack on the floor nearby.

“The world is ending and I’m hoping to summon another world,” Juliana answered. Her cheeks were stained with the trails of tears she’d cried, and Leanos finally took note of them.

“That would be very hard to do unless you already have another world in mind,” he played along with a teasing grin, before it fell away suddenly. “You’re keeping something,” he said as he sat against the bookshelf next to Juliana.

“I overheard the First Enchanter talking with the Knight-Commander.”

His grey eyes found hers and stared silently until he realized she wasn’t going to continue. “What was it about this time? We don’t have enough lyrium or we’re using too much of it?” He dropped his hands between his legs. “It isn’t even us mages who use it, most of it goes to the templars, and they’re the ones who control our stores!” he said exasperatedly.

Juliana tried to laugh at how true his words were, but the reality of her situation was still weighing heavy in her chest. “No,” she said, her voice barely making a sound.

“I know,” he said, knocking his knee against hers. “Lyrium wouldn’t have you this upset. So, what was it then?”

“The Rite of Tranquility,” she answered. She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her head between them, her arms coming up to wrap around herself. Leanos remained silent. He knew what it meant. It meant someone else was about to join the ranks of the Tranquil. Those mages who spoke in an emotionless tone, who were disconnected from the Fade, who had no dreams or emotions. Mages who had their entire self taken away, leaving only the shell of the person they were before; they always made shivers run up his back and the idea that one of his peers was being given the Rite was more than enough to make him freeze.

“Who?” he asked after long moments of suffocating silence. Juliana didn’t answer, only tightened her arms around herself. “Who?” he asked again, this time laying his hand gently on her shoulder. When she looked up he knew his answer, and that answer had the entire world crashing down on him.

‘How can this be?’ He asked himself. ‘She can’t be…’, ‘this isn’t right.’ He grabbed at the books to his side and threw them across the space between the bookshelves. He screamed and cried and kicked his feet until his anger died down and he was reminded about who had it worse right now. “We can fix this,” he said. “I can fix this.”

“There’s nothing you can do!” Juliana shouted. “There’s nothing to do! I’m being made Tranquil! Nothing and no one can stop it!”

“But why?” he asked. “Why you? Why now? You’ve given no signs of being out of control.”

Juliana glared and Leanos and it sent an icy chill down his spine. It was the withering glare she sent at anyone who dared to say anything about him being an elf or dared to try anything against him. He’d seen it directed at so many other people, but it being directed at him truly had him in shock. “It isn’t because I’m dangerous now,” she growled. “It’s because I _will_ be dangerous. They fear me, fear what I may become. They fear all of us and we can’t do anything because the templars are backed by the Chantry and the Chantry is backed by all of Thedas! All of Thedas is afraid of us, of what we can do and they _hunt_ us down and kill us without a second thought.”

He was taken aback. He had never heard her speak out so blatantly against the Chantry, against the Circle. But he knew she was right. It was true. They were in a world where their very existence was a threat to the world magic-less humans created, and who better to know that than an Elven mage? Not only was he seen as a threat for being a mage, but he was also seen as vermin for being an elf, for not being human. If anything, he was the lowest of the low, even the Dalish had more respect from humans than him, a city elf. Afraid was the default all humans were born with.

They feared the elves would rebel, so they kept them in alienages where the buildings were so close together you could barely walk between them. The streets were crowded and disgusting, garbage and rodents littered them and humans went on living as the gods of the world they thought belonged to them.

They feared the Dalish would invade and take over their land back. Land that originally belonged to the elves, but humans had conquered, stolen from them and then banished them from it.

They feared magic, so they created an Order that would be in charge of finding them and hunting them, killing them, if necessary. They kept mages in large towers, watched every minute of every day, ‘to protect you’, ‘to teach you’, ‘to _control_ you.’

“In their eyes, I’m already an abomination, waiting for the right moment to strike,” she growled and Leanos couldn’t find it in himself to chastise her. She was allowed to, she had every right to.

“What if you run away?” he asked, a sudden clarity coming to him. A plan was formulating with every moment that passed.

“I can’t run away! Don’t you get it? They’ll have templars following me around all the time, making sure I don’t do anything stupid,” she cried. She’d lost much of her anger and resentment faded to let her sadness shine through.

“Okay, but what if I make sure to get everything? I can make sure that they can track you!” he was starting to get excited.

“You can’t do that,” she sighed. “They’ll catch you,” she paused for a moment. “Only if you come with me,” she said quickly.

“I couldn’t.”

“You can, and you will. If you want to break me out of here, then you’re coming with me,” she said determinedly. She could see him considering it, his jaw was clenching and his eyes were focused on something on the wall. He nodded sharply and Juliana grinned, maybe she could make it out of here. “Ok, so first we need to find the little bottles with our blood.”

“The phylacteries?”

“Yes, those. But before that, I need to teach you how to shapeshift.”

* * *

It took two weeks before they were finally ready. They each had their fair share of cuts and scrapes all over their bodies, some deeper than others, but all of them worth it. The hardest items to get were by far the phylacteries, the small vials that contained the essence of every apprentice were locked in the basement, locked behind various enchantments that would tear anyone to pieces. And they needed them, they couldn’t just run away and leave them behind. Those vials were the only thing that the templars could use to find them. If they left them behind, they would never be free and would have to constantly be looking over their shoulder.

That was why Leanos needed to shapeshift. A person would have been easily detected, all of the enchantments accounted exclusively against people, but what everyone always forgot about were ants and insects. Insects, ants especially could get to just about anywhere and Juliana, luckily spent much of her alone time, watching how ants behaved. It was for this reason that she was able to teach Leanos how to shapeshift into an ant. Ants were tiny, barely noticable and everywhere, no one would be able to pick one ant out of a row of a hundred.

As soon as he was in the store room she told him to find their phylacteries and to destroy them. When he returned she had looked at him expectantly and when she saw his proud grin she threw her arms around him. They could finally go through with the end of their plan: escape from the Tower.

\---

They were sitting at the far end of one of the many libraries in the Circle Tower, books were stacked and strewn about. Juliana was studiously reading a book on healing potions, having already read her way through the books on poisons years ago. The templars weren’t completely wrong to think her a threat, but she would never hurt anyone, she never wished to be a mage to begin with.

Leanos on the other hand was studying the spells he’d never been very good at, though they were the basics. Before long he was closing the books around him and slouching in his chair. “Why are you reading about making balms? You should be thinking about what you’re going to do once we’re out of here,” he whispered. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about where I’ll go once we leave.”

“I’ve already decided,” Juliana answered, her hand quickly writing down the instructions for a strong health poultice. She glared when he took her journal, obviously not satisfied with her answer. “Nevarra.”

“What’s in Nevarra for you? Why not Rivain, where we can be free?” he asked, a glint in his eyes letting her know where he wanted to go.

“My parents...” she grunted as she finally pulled her journal from his hands. “... were Nevarran. And they have the best festivals, full of music and artists. I-I want to be something other than a mage.”

Leanos looked at her with sympathy. “I want to be Dalish,” he said quietly. It was Juliana’s turn to look on sympathetically. “I overheard a few of the templars talking about Rivain having a permanent Dalish clan settlement. I just hope they accept me.” His brow was furrowed and Juliana pulled him into an awkward hug.

“What are you two doing here?” an older woman asked as she walked up to them. It was Wynne, one of the Senior Enchanters, and also someone Juliana worked with often.

Juliana subtly hid her journal under a few of the opened books and hoped that the enchantress hadn’t noticed. “I want to get this healing spell right, but I’m having some trouble,” she said. Luckily, she wasn’t lying, she really didn’t know how to perform the spell she was now looking at.

“Let me take a look,” Wynne said softly. Juliana would miss her, the woman was the only person aside from Leanos who’d tried to help her and if anything, Wynne had become like a mother to her. She should tell her, but she couldn’t. Wynne would never believe that the First Enchanter would agree to such a decision and as the good Andrastean she was, she always believed in the goodness of people. The woman would only try to stop them and unknowingly push Juliana into a fate worse than death.

\---

Hours later, Juliana and Leanos were walking to their beds when they stopped in their tracks. A young templar was talking with a mage, his hands were waving awkwardly in front of him and the girl was giggling at his antics. “She should just kiss him already,” Leanos said quietly. “He’ll never gather the courage to do it.”

“What a world we live in that a caged woman can love her keeper,” Juliana replied, sadly. “He is quite handsome, though isn’t he?”

“I wouldn’t mind if he asked for my help to sheath hi-”

“Stop it,” Juliana stopped him with a laugh. “Come on, we should get to the dining hall before people start looking for us.”

As they stepped through the large archway into the room full of tables they glanced around the space trying to find a table for them to sit. “Look,” Leanos said as he tilted his chin towards the back of the room. Hidden only barely by the tapestry that cast a shadow over the two people. “He’s completely mad,” he whispered.

Juliana hummed her agreement. “Jowan needs to be more careful. Doing this in front of the enchanters and the templars will get him and Lily killed.”

“It would be quite a tragedy, don’t you think? The mage and the Chantry sister. Two souls meant to be together, but the Faith and their protectors keep them apart,” he gestured grandly, his hands moving wildly and his chest puffing out, making himself look bigger.

“What was that mouse boy?” a man’s voice called out from beside them. Juliana quickly stood up and stood toe to toe with him.

“What did you say?” she growled.

“You heard me.” He was much taller than her, his broad shoulders seemed to cave inwards on her, but she wouldn’t back down.

“Don’t ever talk to him like that,” she ordered, her brown eyes sending daggers at him.

“Or what,” he said cooly. “You-”

She felt Leanos hands trying to pull her back, but she wasn’t moving back. She stomped her foot on the mage’s foot and when he bent down from pain, she quickly grabbed him by the back of his neck and slammed his face into the wooden table.

“Come on, let’s go,” Leanos said quickly, tugging her back. “Juliana, please, let’s go.”

“I’m sorry,” Juliana apologized once they were in the apprentice dormitory.

“Thank you,” Leanos said softly, taking a seat next to her. “But you don’t have to do that every time. I can take it.”

Juliana fell onto her back and stared up at the wooden frame holding up the bunk on top of hers. “That’s the problem, though. You shouldn’t have to take it. People shouldn’t be allowed to say those things.”

“Humans get bullied too.”

“But elves are the ones who get it the worst,” she looked over at him. “You can’t honestly tell me that other humans get called derogatory names about their size, their ears, how they shouldn’t even exist in the first place.”

“It will only be for a few more days,” he said softly, slowly laying down. They lay in silence for long minutes, the only sound came from the flickering torches that lit the large room. “Will you go straight to Nevarra?” he asked.

“No, I have to go to Gwaren first. I have to see if my parents are still there.”

“And if they aren’t?”

“Then I’ll be in a port city and I can take a ship up to Starkhaven. Are you going straight to Rivain?” He nodded. “Do you know how to get there?”

He let his head fall to the side and sent her a blank stare. “Obviously. Go to Highever, then take a short boat trip to Rialto Bay and try to not get murdered by Antivans. Easy.”

Juliana rolled her eyes. “You’re not taking this seriously,” she sighed.

“I’ll be fine. I promise.” Juliana sighed and pulled him into a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter done! Let me know what you think with comments and kudos


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana has a run-in with a demon. then they finally run away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those interested in knowing, Lorena is my human mage Warden and Leanos if my elf mage Warden. not important to the story but just a fun fact.
> 
> Also I'm playing with details and magic and what would usually be taught in the Tower, but I needed to for it to work in my story.

This was it. She was out. She was finally free of the templars and the rules of the Circle.

She was standing on the docks of Gwaren, the city she had been born in. The Frozen Sea in front of her, the waves crashing violently against the docked ships. Her mother had her arms wrapped around her, her hold never loosening in fear that Juliana might disappear from her sight. This was it. This was their time to be free.

They were finally able to board the ship and she stood looking over the edge, saying farewell to the land she once called home. She moved to sit on one of the crates close to the tallest mast of the ship but then she froze.

The world around her started fading away. The deckhands were fading away, the captain was no longer visible and her mother. Her mother was gone.

“I can give this to you.” Juliana turned at the sound of the voice calling out to her. It was soft and sultry, a woman’s voice. “This is what you want. I can give you your heart’s desire.” Then she was there. Her skin was a light purple, her entire being vibrated with raw power. Her body was mostly devoid of clothes save for a strip of cloth that covered her womanhood and an elaborate golden chain wrapped around her neck with two dangling rings. Each ring had gold coiled within it and sat delicately covering her nipples, each ring had an additional three chains dangling from the center. Her hair was a cloud of purple smoke, from the middle of her forehead two protruded and curved inward and up. A scaled tail wagged languidly from side to side.

Juliana knew what she was. Desire. Juliana heard her blood pulsing in her ears and felt every hair on her body stand on edge. A desire demon had come to her from the Fade. All living beings go to the Fade when they sleep, but mages, whose power comes from a strong connection to the Fade, are targeted by the demons of the Fade who seek entry into the earthen world. It must have sensed her fear, her want to escape, her desire to be free.

“I can set you free,” the demon spoke again. “All I need is something in return.” Her eyes brightened, and Juliana could make out the shape of them, catlike.

“No,” Juliana heard herself say. It was almost as if she was just a spectator in her own dream.

“I’m sure I can convince you,” the demon purred and floated closer. Her skeletal fingers ran down Juliana’s arm and she jerked away.

“No. I won’t play your games, demon!” she shouted and stepped further away.

“Your will is strong, but I will break you!” the demon growled and rushed forward gripping tightly onto Juliana’s shoulders and pulling her in.

Juliana felt her blood freeze, but she could give in so easily. She muttered a spell under her breath and the demon fell back, her eyes crazed and confused.

“What did you do!” the demon shouted. Juliana only muttered another spell and the demon gripped at its neck, clawing to get some air. Juliana quickly brought her hands together and let the magic in her gather in the palms of her hands. With one final muttered word a cone of flames sprouted from her fingers and enveloped the demon. She couldn’t use the spell again, but she had another element at her disposal. Her hands were cupped over each other and with all her might, she pushed forward and watched as a chain of lightning wrapped around the demon.

Then she was alone again. A heavy feeling deep in her chest fell over her and she fell to her knees. She didn’t cry, there was nothing to cry about. After years of wishing her mother would come looking for her, to find her, to at least visit, she lost hope. And a demon had taken advantage of that hope, of that wish she’d so foolishly made. “I really am an orphan now, aren’t I?” she asked herself out loud. ‘Yes, but you have friends, and that is more than enough,’ the voice in her head said. Juliana closed her eyes and waited for when she would wake.

* * *

She woke up to the sound of the morning bells. She sat up in her bed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She got dressed and brushed her teeth and pulled her hair back and got ready for her day to begin.

For the most part, the day went by smoothly. She had a few accidents, most of them were accidentally running into a templar’s back and dropping a book, her focus trained solely on the text within the pages. She talked with a few of the other apprentices, but nothing that kept her attention for long. Now, she was sitting in one of the libraries writing down notes for one of the enchanters.

“What you did yesterday was brave. Stupid, but brave,” a soft voice spoke from above her. It’s owner slowly sat in front of her, revealing beautiful pale skin and a slight blush. It was Lorena, the girl from the day before, her short dark hair fell messily over her eyes and she carefully brushed it out of the way.

“What do you know?” Juliana asked defensively.

“I know what it’s like to have to step in when someone you care for is being threatened.” She paused for a moment. “It may not be the same since Jowan tends to get himself in those situations on his own, and I’m usually cleaning up after him, but I do know what it’s like.”

Juliana straightened in her seat before she breathed out heavily and fell over her books. “True, but Leanos has never done anything to garner such treatment.”

“Quite right, but here, where we’re all mages, torn away from our families, we cling to any power we can. Sadly, it seems that the only advantage here is being human.” Lorena shrugged sadly and ran her fingers over the pages of a closed book. They were silent for so long that Juliana had returned to writing her notes. “I overheard a few of the templars today,” Lorena said softly, breaking the silence. Juliana only put her quill down and looked up at her. “They were talking about the Rite.” Juliana felt her body freeze.

“They wouldn’t. Would they?” Juliana asked, trying to sound as shocked and surprised as possible. Lorena simply nodded.

“One of them was boasting about how they were going to get someone in the middle of the night and lock them up for it.” Her expression was downcast and Juliana knew that she was scared about who they were going to make Tranquil. They all knew what happened. Owain, the man who manages the storeroom on the first floor of the Tower was Tranquil. They were all unnerved by how emotionless he was, how cold he sounded. How even an encouraging word from him felt like a curse, even if he no longer had the ability to use magic.

But then Lorena’s words sank in. Tonight. Tonight they were going to take her. But it wasn’t time yet. She still had a week. She’d heard Greagoir saying it would be a month, it’s barely been three weeks. She still had time. Only she didn’t. Not anymore. They had to leave tonight, but they would need help.

“I need your help,” Juliana said quietly but forcefully. Lorena looked at her with wide eyes but nodded. Juliana turned her head every which way trying to see if anyone was around. “Not here,” she said and stood up abruptly. She grabbed Lorena’s hand and dragged her behind her as she quickly made her way through the halls until they were in a small broom closet. She pulled Lorena in after her and poked her head out to look for anyone approaching before closing the door.

Lorena held her hand between them and created a small flame in the palm of her hand. “Hey, it’s okay,” she whispered. There wasn’t much room in the closet so they were pressed closely to each other. Juliana could feel the taller girl’s breath over her face and she had to force herself to remain focused.

“It’s me,” she said. Lorena only looked at her with a confused look in her eyes. “They were talking about me. They’re going to make me Tranquil,” she explained urgently.

“No,” Lorena shook her head in denial. “No, they can’t do that. They can’t do it against your will.”

Juliana looked at her through her lashes and Lorena slumped back. They were templars, they could do whatever they wanted. If anyone asked they would just say that she had chosen to be Tranquil, and no one would question it if the First Enchanter also agreed.

“What do you need?” Lorena asked, her voice determined, and Juliana smiled. She told her everything, their entire plan and she hoped that it would work. She really needed this to work.

* * *

Juliana found herself briskly walking down the hall of the second floor. She stopped in every room hoping to find Leanos to tell him about the change of plans. They were getting out tonight. It was the only way they could ensure getting out safely.

It took her a while, but she finally found him in one of the laboratories and she pulled him away. He looked at her questioningly, but at the look of panic in her eyes he was immediately focused on what she might have to say.

“There’s been a change of plans,” she rushed out. “It’s happening tonight.”

“What? Why?”

“Because they’re coming to get me tonight. So, I seriously hope you’re ready to fly.” He nodded and gulped. “We’re meeting Lorena in the Great Hall after lights out, but we have to be careful.”

“What? Why is she going to be there?”

“She’s the one who told me about the templars moving up the Rite.”

“And you trust her?” he asked incredulously.

“I don’t have a choice. I really like my brain, and emotions, and my memories. I really love those,” she said, pleadingly.

“Fine.”

* * *

It was eerily quiet. Juliana could hear the drips of water hitting the stone floor and the large space provided by high ceilings only served to amplify the sound. She sat, hidden in a corner of the Great Hall and tried to remain as still and as quiet as possible. She saw a pair of templars making their rounds and she was glad to know that they wouldn’t be coming back for another hour. She heard quick footsteps approaching and she hoped it was Leanos or Lorena instead of another templar or enchanter.

“Elf boy,” she called out when she recognized Leanos, he turned to see her and quickly made his way over to her.

“Human girl,” he grinned as she crouched down. “Are you ready for a break out?” Juliana rolled her eyes but pulled him into a hug. “So we’re just waiting for Lorena?”

“Yeah,” Juliana nodded. “There she is,” she said pointing to the girl making her way into the Great Hall. “Lorena.”

Lorena stopped and then rushed next to them and got to her knees. “Are you ready?” Juliana and Leanos nodded. They stood up and moved to stand in front of one of the large windows.

When they were ready Juliana looked at Lorena and smiled. She stepped forward and handed her a vial. “It’s a forgetting potion. You won’t remember today.” Lorena looked down at her, confused. “If anyone asks about where we are I don’t want you to have to lie.” The taller girl took the vial and slipped it into her pocket with a smile.

“Let’s go,” Leanos whispered.

Juliana stepped back and moved to stand next to her best friend. She turned to Lorena and nodded. The large window glowed with magic and Juliana watched as Leanos carefully shapeshifted into a crow and she followed shortly after.

As they flew from the Kinloch Hold, the Circle Tower she’d been trapped in for the last twenty years, she felt an unparalleled sense of joy fill her. She didn’t look back, but she felt lighter the further they got from their gilded cage. She looked over to Leanos and found him diving through the air, falling and then stopping himself just before he touched the water. This was the first time she’d really seen him completely unrestrained and it was beautiful. She could feel this energy from him that just glowed in the night sky.

Her thoughts slowly turned to Lorena, and she hoped that she got back to her bed in time. She also hoped that she would take the potion. She knew the fate that awaited those who betrayed the Circle, and Aeonar was no place for anyone, much less a mage. The old fortress had once served as a location for magical experimentation when the Tevinter Imperium ruled over Ferelden, but now it was a prison for apostate mages that lived out of the Chantry’s teaching and maleficarum, mages that the Chantry believes to be corrupted. It was a horrible place, and all the educators in the Tower warned of what would happen should they ever attempt to not follow the rules.

Sometimes she hated the Chantry, despised everything they stood for, but she knew that what she hated most was the fact that it gave people the ability, the right, to rip children from their families and hold them captive, never to leave the four walls that surrounded them. This, flying through the night sky was the first time she’d ever been outside of the Tower and she thanked the Maker for giving her this gift.

So, sometimes she hated the Chantry, but she believed in the Chant of Light, believed in the Maker, believed that he would one day come back as he had done once for the prophet Andraste. His wife, who’d fought against the Tevinter Imperium to liberate her people from their rule, who fought alongside elves to release them and set them free, who spread the Maker’s word. Andraste, who died, betrayed by her mortal husband and now sat beside the Maker, making his will known to those who had faith. She believed and thanked the Maker, because she knew that without his aid, she never would have made it out alive.

Her eyes looked up at the night sky and saw a star brighten impossibly bright before fading back to its normal shine and she knew her thanks had been received, her prayers answered and her presence acknowledged.

She looked down to find Leanos but she couldn’t find him. In a panic she flew lower, hoping that he’d just chosen to fly closer to the water. She found him and flew next to him.

_‘Juliana,’_ his voice called out. _‘Juliana, I’m tired.’_ Juliana looked around and she could barely make out some land.

_‘There, we can land on the beach,’_ she called back. She carefully maneuvered herself under Leanos in case his body gave out. Luckily, they made it to the shore in time.

As soon as they were a few feet from the beach, Leanos, back in his normal form, fell into the water and Juliana quickly shapeshifted back to her human form and dragged him the rest of the way onto shore. “Come on,” she muttered under her breath as she patted his cheek. “Wake up,” she groaned, looking around them to make sure no one had seen them. “You can’t die on me now, elf boy.” He suddenly sat up, coughing violently and she held him tightly to her chest, as he tried to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, still taking in large gulps of air.

“Hush, now,” she said standing up and pulling him along. “We have to get out of here before someone notices.” Juliana pulled them into the thick forest brush that seemed to border the lake’s shore. “Get out of your clothes,” she ordered as she tugged her enchanted bag to her side.

“Buy me dinner first,” Leanos cheekily replied. Juliana rolled her eyes but said nothing.

She looked around them before pulling out her staff from the bag. She cast a cloaking spell that would keep them hidden until the morning. She then went about building a fire while Leanos got a hold of his own enchanted bag and pulled out his own staff and began creating their campsite.

Juliana started disrobing and threw her mage robes into the fire before she pulled out pieces of cloth from her bag. Lorena’s job back in the Tower was to find them clothes that they could use once they were out. Juliana didn’t ask questions but she knew that these clothes had come from the trunks of some of the enchanters who were able to come and go from the Tower.

She heard another hiss coming from the fire, probably from Leanos’s robes being added to it. She was finally dressed in different clothes and she looked down at herself in disgust. “Skirts. Why is it always skirts?” she asked with a groan.

“I think you look ravishing,” Leanos said with a playful growl. Juliana moved to sit next to him and playfully shoved him. “We did it,” he said, more serious now.

“We did. We’re free.” Juliana sighed.

“I’m sorry about falling out of the sky back there.”

“Don’t worry. It was a long flight, and you haven’t been doing this for very long,” she assured.

“You know that it makes us…” he trailed off.

“Maleficarum,” she finished. “Yes. Any magic they don’t understand is a threat to them.”

“If they find ou-”

“If,” Juliana interrupted. “If they find out. But they won’t. We’re too careful to let ourselves be caught, but we need to blend in. We can’t draw any unwanted attention.” She watched the fire flickering in front of them and she sighed. “But if they find out about you, you run. Don’t stick around. You can get stronger and hopefully you’ll learn other animals, but please, don’t let them get you.”

“What about you?” he asked. “You don’t seem all that concerned about them finding you.”

Juliana looked down to her hands and ran her fingers over the lines of her palms. “If they get too close, there is no way they’re taking me alive.” she said seriously.

Leanos felt his blood run cold. He tried to find anything in Juliana’s eyes that would let him know that she wasn’t serious, but he found nothing. Juliana was completely serious about not letting them take her back. He supposes that he understands. It was Juliana who had been in danger of being made Tranquil, if he’d stayed he probably would have been put through the Harrowing, he would have been fine, but Juliana would have lost everything and she wasn’t willing to give it up.

He wrapped his arm around her and he was calmed slightly by her leaning her head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and then looked at the fire in front of them. He hoped that whatever came for them wouldn’t tear them completely apart. He hoped that they would one day find each other again. Currently, he was thankful for the next couple of days they had together before they went their separate ways.

* * *

The following day Juliana woke up with the sun. It was the first time she’d felt the warm rays touch her skin directly. She felt energized and she couldn’t help but just take in the way the forest seemed to wake up with the sun. She could hear Leanos tossing under his blanket and she fought back a laugh. He was definitely not a morning person. Juliana stood up and carefully started packing away whatever they had taken out the night before, which was nothing much but it gave her something to do why her friend took his time getting up.

By the time the sun was fully out Leanos had finally re-entered the living world and started packing up his own things. Juliana reversed the cloaking spell and they were once again visible to the world, luckily they were still alone.

“Let’s go,” she said, stepping out of their small camp and further into the forest.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Leanos asked, dragging his feet.

“No,” Juliana sighed. “But we were just at the lake and there’s a road that runs along it. We should find a village nearby or something.”

They walked in relative silence. The birds were chirping happily in the trees above them and they each took the time to enjoy the simplicity of their songs.

It was a few hours before they reached anything that resembled a town. If anything it was more like a road stop. There were a few houses on either side of the dirt road. There was a small tavern off to the side and there were a few wagons left unattended beside it. Juliana crouched down low and carefully moved closer to the wagon closest to them. “Make sure no one’s coming,” she whispered and Leanos nodded.

She pulled up the rough cover that rested over the wagon and quickly looked around. There were a few crates, each overflowing with cloth and a few with food. She grabbed a few apples, cheese and bread before looking at the crates of cloth. She could tell that it was good quality, which sadly meant that if they were discovered missing, they would be easy to find. She covered the wagon again and moved to the next one. Finding it devoid of anything useful she moved to the third wagon.

There she would some tattered cloaks and luckily for her, a pair of trousers. She pulled them out and covered the wagon again. She quickly ran from the wagons and called out for Leanos and waited for him to make his way back to her.

She led them through the forest again and didn’t stop until they were well hidden from the road and anyone who could accidentally happen upon them. “Here,” she said, handing him some of every food she’d gotten. “I need to change,” she muttered and moved behind a tree. Leanos rolled his eyes and began eating.

“You know, we need to get money soon.”

“I know,” came her reply. “But we can’t do anything out here without drawing too much attention to ourselves. An elf and a human are what the templars are going to look for. We need to get far enough away from the Tower and we can’t be seen together once we go into town.”

She tossed a cloak out to him and he barely caught it. “Why the cloak?”

Juliana stepped out from behind the tree clasping the cloak around her neck. She stepped forward and took the cloak from him, wrapping it around his shoulders. “These,” she said lightly flicking his ears. “Are a dead giveaway.” She pulled the hood up and over his head. “Plus, with your face hidden, I’m the cute one.”

Leanos pulled the hood over her head and stood in front of her proudly. “Now, I’m the cute one again.” Juliana shook her head with a laugh before she took a seat and started eating breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know your thoughts in the comments :)


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana and Leanos fight a monster, and they part ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the monster described is a genlock, sorry if it's inaccurate, but i described it the way i saw it on the wiki.
> 
> also, I don't know how to write fight scenes or battle scenes, so just roll with it.

They spent the rest of the way walking through the forest, close enough to the road to not get lost but far enough that they wouldn’t be seen by anyone passing by. As the end of the day approached they neared a small hamlet, there were barely any people save those exiting a tavern. Juliana stepped out from the tree-line and carefully made her way closer to the edge of the settlement.

“Is this really a good idea?” Leanos asked as he followed closely behind.

“We have no choice,” Juliana replied. “We don’t know what direction we need to go and we’re both hungry.”

“Juliana,” he groaned quietly. “Once we ask for directions we still can’t do anything about food. We have no money.”

“Let me handle that,” Juliana answered. “Go sit in that corner,” she said as they entered the tavern. Leanos did as told and kept his head down while she approached the barkeep.

Juliana walked steadily through the barely there crowd, her fingers expertly slipping down the pockets of the men standing around. She had to thank all the older kids who taught her how to steal things from the mages and enchanters when she was younger. She moved with ease, almost as if it were a dance, picking as much coin as she could without drawing attention and just enough that it wouldn’t be noticeable.

“What can I get for you?” a plump older woman asked from behind the counter. Juliana looked up from under her hood and smiled kindly.

“I’ll have two pot pies for my friend and I,” she said pointing to where Leanos was sitting. “I have a few questions first, though.” The woman nodded with a smile. “We’re traveling south to Gwaren, but when we stopped to rest last night we were looted. We lost our maps so we’re a little lost at the moment. I was hoping you could tell me which direction we can head in once we leave.” The woman smiled kindly and gave her detailed directions, even drawing her a rough map of the road. Juliana nodded and placed a few coppers on the counter before walking away.

“What did you get?” Leanos asked quietly.

“Food,” Juliana answered with a simple shrug. She laughed when he grunted. “You go north and I go south. Here,” she said, handing him the messily drawn map.

“Won’t you need this?”

“I’ll be going to Lothering first. I can get a map there. Oh!” she exclaimed softly and pulled out a few coins. “Here. It isn’t much, but it’ll get you a meal on your next stop. You’ll have to work to get more, and don’t have too strong morals,” she told him, tilting her head to the side.

Leanos sighed deeply but nodded his acquiescence. “Fine.” They sat in comfortable silence until their food arrived. “I guess this is the last meal we’ll share together, huh?” he asked sadly.

Juliana felt her heart tighten from the tone of his voice. They spent the last two decades practically attached at the hip and they were about to go their separate ways. It was a bittersweet situation they were in, having to separate for their safety and not wanting to leave the familiarity of the other’s presence. Leanos was off to look for a place he could belong and Juliana was off in search of something she wasn’t even sure she could find. She wasn’t even completely sure of what she wanted; all she knew was that she could still want, she could still feel, still remember and as long as she had that, then she was perfectly content.

“For now,” she replied playfully. “I fully intend to visit you in Rivain, someday. Maybe I’ll find you settling in nicely with a tribe of Dalish elves, or maybe you’ll be off setting things on fire. With you, it could really go either way,” she teased.

“And you might become the greatest sculptor in Nevarra, or the greatest painter, you might even have your own house, or better yet, an estate,” he added, his eyes wide with excitement over the possibilities.

“Maybe,” Juliana laughed softly.

* * *

They were walking through the forest, the sun had set about an hour ago and the sky was covered with a thin layer of clouds. Leanos was walking a few steps ahead of Juliana, his eyes shifting carefully over every bush and tree they walked by. There was a low growl and he stopped. Juliana moved to stand next to him, the question in her eyes obvious. _What made that sound?_ It was nothing like a normal animal, the sound too raw and deep to even be real. Slowly, they both drew out their staffs and carefully moved in the opposite direction the sound had come from.

Juliana stood in the middle of a small clearing and was just about to cast the cloaking spell over their space when a monstrous looking beast came running straight towards her. She let out a squeal of surprise before she reached behind her and unclasped her staff from the belt around her back. She quickly let out small bolts of energy, hoping that they would be enough to hold the beast off. She was wrong. It took the hit square in the chest but continued charging at her; she prepared herself for impact but it never came.

She opened her eyes and found Leanos with his hands extended and a cone of frost emanating from the palms of his hands. The beast was struck frozen, but not dead. She rushed forward and jumped into the air, taking her staff and smashing it straight through the beast’s chest, its body smashing to pieces on impact. They both breathed out in relief before a group of three other monsters charged at them.

This time, Juliana was prepared. She quickly drained the life of one of the beasts, slowing it down before she set a cone of fire to surround it, it’s body falling down slowly. Leanos momentarily froze one beast that was coming towards him before turning his attention to the other one. He closed his hand into a fist and threw it out towards the beast, a rock fist materializing and knocking it over. He quickly returned to the frozen beast and crashed his staff through it. Juliana saw the knocked over beast and easily paralized it. She ran towards it, picking up a fallen sword on her way and swiftly plunging it into the beast’s chest.

“What was that?” Leanos asked, breathless. He pulled his staff from the beast’s unfreezing body, it fell limply, dark blood oozing from its wound.

“I don’t know,” Juliana said as she unlodged the sword from the best’s body. She kneeled and started reaching her hand out to touch it.

“Don’t!” Leanos shouted, running over to her and quickly pulling her away. “We don’t know what that is and you don’t know what it could do!”

Juliana nodded but stepped forward. “I think I’ve read about these,” she whispered. She lit a small ball of fire in the palm of her hand and held it over the beast. It’s skin was a pale yellow, It’s mouth was all teeth, the lips pulled completely back. It’s teeth were gnarly and deeply rotten, even from a couple feet away, it’s mouth reeked of rot and death. It’s head was completely bald, scars criss-crossed each other on the flesh and the flesh exposed between pieces of armor were carved with dark markings. It’s build was small and stocky, much shorter than Juliana and Leanos, but it’s body was thick and strong. “Darkspawn,” she muttered under her breath.

She heard Leanos take a step back and she knew he was already starting to pack up their things. They couldn’t stay around for the night. She stood up slowly and turned to see Leanos about to smother the fire. “Leave it,” she called out. “We have to burn them.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know if they can come back, but I would rather not take that chance.” She pulled one of the bodies over and dragged it onto the fire while Leanos looked down at her, his eyes full of questions. “Those people back there,” she motioned to the hamlet they’d just come from. “There aren’t enough of them to stop these monsters. There’s barely any of them as it is. We can’t just leave them with a potential threat on its way.”

“Do you think…” he trailed off, letting his sentence hang in the air, but Juliana was focused on dragging the corpses into the flames. “Do you think it’s a Blight?” he nervously asked.

Juliana looked up at him. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “This could just be a random occurrence, but it could also be more.” She could see him begin to panic. “Hey, hey,” she said standing up and cupping his face. “This just means that we need to get out of Ferelden as fast as possible.”

“Come with me,” he begged. Tears glimmered in his eyes and she understood his fear. He wasn’t scared of the darkspawn, he’d been able to fight them off, he just proved it. He was afraid that Juliana would stick around. That she would choose to stay and fight for a country that had imprisoned her for her entire life, that she wouldn’t leave and would risk being caught. “Come to Highever with me. Once we’re there you can go to Starkhaven or wherever you want, but please don’t stay.”

“I can’t,” she answered. “I have to know if my parents are still there. I can’t not know,” she replied, her own tears slipping down her cheeks. He pulled her into a hug and she rested her head on his chest. “But I’ll find you someday,” she said, pulling back. He nodded and they fully pulled away. Juliana picked up her own things and then they started walking away from the clearing, letting the corpses of the monsters burn under the night sky.

* * *

“Are you sure that’s north?” Leanos asked as they stood a few feet away from the road.

They had barely been able to sleep the night before after their fight with the darkspawn. They found a clearing about a mile from where the darkspawn had been and had a fitful night of rest, if it could be called that. As soon as the morning sun’s rays started hitting them, they’d both gotten up and packed away their camp. Now, they stood on the side of the road saying their goodbyes and arguing about what direction they were each supposed to take.

“I’m not sure, so if you end up in Lothering, then you turn around and head in the opposite direction,” Juliana answered, her tone annoyed.

“Really, Juliana, I don’t see why you’re being like this,” he said, pursing his lips.

“Because I checked early this morning and you refuse to believe me!”

“I’m going to miss you being annoyed with me,” he said fondly.

“I’m going to miss you annoying me,” she said with a fond smile. She pulled him into a tight hug before pulling away completely.

“Be careful out there, human girl,” Leanos said as he started walking backwards in the direction he needed to go.

“You be more careful, elf boy,” Juliana responded, doing the same.

Once she couldn’t see him anymore she turned around and started walking south along the dirt road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a much shorter chapter than i remember it being, so i might put up the next chapter later tonight. idk yet.
> 
> let me know your thoughts in the comments, they literally give me life and keep me going.


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana is now in Lothering. She meets some interesting people that change her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I feel about this chapter but I'm posting it anyway. Graphic-ish scenes. also not 100% sure that I'm completely accurate on some details.
> 
> I feel that this is the chapter where things actually start moving along so yeah...

It took her two weeks to reach Lothering. The trip there was rather uneventful. There were a few scares where she needed to run from thugs looking for a quick paycheck but she easily out ran them, or she quickly shapeshifted into an animal they would never blink twice at. She had to admit that the journey had given her more than enough time to learn how to shapeshift into a few different animals. It was fun and exciting, but it did drain her energy rather easily, so finally reaching Lothering meant that she could spend a few days resting before she continued on her journey south.

What she hadn’t expected, however, was for the village to be at near capacity. There were a few people gathering at the village’s entrance and a few other pitching up tents. She didn’t know what was happening, but whatever it was, it was enough to draw people from outside of the village. The first thing to do would be to find a place to stay, but seeing as she had no money, she needed to find some work, or anything that would pay.

Easily enough, she found the village’s Chantry. She carefully made her way over to the wooden archway that stood in front of the building. She never thought she would ever find herself within the walls of a Chantry again, but she couldn’t deny that she wished for some semblance of normalcy, and as far as she knew, every Chantry worked the same way. With careful steps she walked towards the chantry when she stopped abruptly. In front of the stone wall surrounding the Chantry stood a man dressed in Chanter’s robes and he was saying something.

_“Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt.  
Blessed are the peacekeepers, champions of the just.”_

His voice was soft and soothing. Juliana stepped forward and read the board that he stood next to. Chanter’s Board. She asked him what it meant and he explained that the Chanter’s Board served as a place where people could bring up problems that they needed solved. Once someone took a job and returned after completing a task, they would get paid. Juliana thanked him and looked over the board and took a few of the offers on the board.

She spent the rest of the day completing tasks, some required her to cast simple spells, others required her to make traps for mice. At the end of the day she was four sovereigns richer, the gold glinted brightly in the light of the setting sun. She discreetly slid the money in a small coin purse that she tied around the belt on her waist.

As Juliana was walking towards Dane’s Refuge, the tavern in the village, she walked by a girl with long dark hair and watched as she made her way through the village. Juliana noticed how the girl’s head turned every few steps, her gaze trying to find something and as Juliana tried following her gaze, she realized the girl was always looking back to the Chantry. Once she was gone Juliana continued on her way to the tavern.

On her way there she caught a glimpse of a small shop and walked towards it. Walking in, she saw rows and rows of cloth and fabric lining the walls. “Can I help you?” a man called from behind the counter.

She walked up to him and nodded. “Do you have any leather trousers?” The man nodded, gave her a quick glance and then disappeared behind a curtain and set the clothing on the counter. “How about shirts, and a cloak?” He disappeared once again and came back setting the clothes on top of the trousers. She smiled and handed over the money, receiving a few silvers and coppers in return.

Finally, she made her way to the tavern and got herself a room for the night. She didn’t know what would happen in the coming days, but she was glad that for the time being she would be able to get a good night’s rest.

* * *

Over the course of the following days Juliana managed to get herself a decent amount of money and she had some time to relax. With the worry of not having money disappearing, she allowed herself to walk through the village and take it in.

Everywhere she went she noticed that people were in peril. Some of them had lost all they had to monsters that attacked their towns and villages. A few others were just travelling through, but those were few and far between. She saw people suffering from injuries and she felt something in her heart telling her that she needed to help, but that would draw too much attention to herself so she stepped away from them.

Instead, she walked to the outskirts of town. There she found a giant person standing in a small cage that barely gave the man enough room to turn and shift his feet. This immediately drew her attention and she grew curious with every passing moment.

“Who are you?” she asked the man. His skin was a light shimmering pale grey, almost silver, and his eyes were a beautiful violet. He turned his gaze to her but remained silent. Juliana stood and watched as his gaze returned to some place far off, she could tell that his attention was not with her, but she was determined to get an answer, so she waited.

“I am a Sten of the Beresaad,” he answered after long minutes of silence.

Juliana nodded. “What are you?” Again, she was met with silence, but she waited, knowing that with time the man would answer.

She was right. “I am a Qunari,” he said with a grunt. She nodded and then left without another word. Qunari, she heard of them. Very little is actually known about them and as far as she could tell, the Tower had no books on them. She only knew they were militaristic people and cared for nothing that did not serve a purpose.

Hours later she returned to the man and found that he was the same as he had been before. His gaze was still off somewhere she didn’t know and she knew she would never know. “You are a prisoner,” she stated. “What crime have you committed?”

This time, his answer came a few moments later. “You could have spoken with those in the village. I don’t know why you ask me.”

“I would rather get the information from the source rather than biased people,” she answered clearly.

He grunted but answered her question. “I killed a family outside of the village.”

“Why?” she asked, shocked to have received such a plain answer.

“My sword.”

Juliana was stunned for a moment by the answer. She blinked slowly at the Qunari before she turned and left him for the day. She walked back to the Chantry and sat in a pew in the middle of the grand building.

The light was tinted a soft red from the stained-glass windows. Juliana sat, looking at the statues of Andraste that stood at the front of the room. She thought carefully of what would lead a person to lose their head for a sword. What about a sword, a simple piece of metal, would make someone slaughter an entire family? She wasn’t sure, but she could only imagine that it included the children.

After reaching the conclusion that she would likely never be able to understand the Qunari’s reasoning, she decided she would rely on her faith to help her. She moved to her knees and closed her eyes. Quietly, she began murmuring the Chant of Light; the story of the Maker and the world he built, the events that led to his re-appearance and then his subsequent absence after the terrible war where his prophet was murdered.

She hoped that the meditative action would clear her mind. Growing up, the Chant had always served more to calm her, soothe her fears and worries, and over time she started believing. It wasn’t perfect, but it gave her hope, helped her believe that there was something out in the world for her. Hours later she rose to her feet, sent a silent prayer to Andraste and the Maker before exiting the Chantry.

As Juliana stepped out under the darkening sky, she caught sight of the girl she’d seen a few days before was making her way through the village and she decided to follow her. If you asked her, she wouldn’t be able to give you a real explanation for what she did, but she felt this need to know, to prove that maybe she wasn’t the only one trying to stay out of the Chantry’s Circle of Magi.

Juliana kept her distance, following from far enough away that she could still tell where the girl was going. It wasn’t until they had finally left the village that Juliana gathered the courage to speed up and talk to the girl. She ran ahead through a field before she appeared in front of the girl, blocking her way.

Startled hazel eyes looked back at her and she could read the panic held in those orbs. Juliana felt her skin prickle, there was magic in the air, and it wasn’t hers.

“Step aside,” the girl said firmly, but her soft voice diminished the effect. Juliana stood her ground.

“I know what you are,” Juliana said quietly, hoping to not scare the girl any more.

The girl shifted uncomfortably before her before biting her lip. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’ve seen you around the village,” Juliana explained carefully. “I have seen the way you look at the templars.” She was getting somewhere. The girl’s eyes were shifting hurriedly and Juliana rushed to calm her. “I’m not going to give you up,” she promised. “I just want to talk to you.”

Juliana could see the instant the girl gave in to her request and she sent a quick thanks to the Maker. “Fine,” the girl said reluctantly. “But not here.” She motioned for Juliana to follow after her and started walking further into the field surrounding the village.

“What would you like to know?” The girl asked once they were far enough from any prying eyes.

“Are you a mage?” Juliana asked, and she knew it was a stupid question, the look the girl gave her was proof of it, but where else could she start?

“Obviously,” the girl answered, irritated.

“But you’re not in the Circle, how?”

“How do I know I can trust you?” the girl questioned. “You’re just some stranger, who for all I know is trying to get some quick coin by giving mages up to the templars.”

Juliana bowed her head and thought for a moment. She nodded her head once. “I was an apprentice in the Circle Tower, but I escaped. If there’s anyone less interested in working for templars, it’s me.”

“You escaped!” the girl asked, dumbfounded. “How?”

Juliana rolled her eyes. “That’s a rather uncomfortable story I would like to forget for the moment.” She noted how the girl’s eyes softened significantly at her admission. “But for now, I would really like to know how you’ve managed to stay out of the templars’ reach.”

The girl nodded and started telling her about her family. They were a family of mages. She and her older brother were mages, their father was a mage and her mother’s side of the family had always borne mages. Her father had been in Kirkwall’s Circle Tower; he’d escaped after discovering that her mother was pregnant. After that they fled to Ferelden and they’d lived in the country ever since. They never lived in one place for long, always moving from village to village, trying to keep the templars away, but since her father’s death, her family hadn’t found the energy to stay on the move.

Juliana listened attentively, asking questions when possible and she realized something that contradicted everything the Chantry and the Circle had taught her. Apostates are not evil, and if anything, they are less likely to give in to demons since they know that would lead to them being captured. She also realized something else. Before she’d fled the Circle, a demon had come to her, offering to give her anything she wanted. She had been a possible victim, she could have become an abomination, and all of it because she was scared of what the templars would do to her, what the First Enchanter would let them do to her.

When they were finally done talking, the sun had already set completely, leaving them under the moonlit sky. “I never got your name,” Juliana spoke up.

“Bethany,” the girl answered.

“Juliana,” she replied and smiled kindly. “I hope we’ll see each other again?” she asked hopefully. Bethany didn’t answer but she did nod slightly with a kind smile.

* * *

She stayed for much longer than she anticipated. After meeting Bethany, talking to the Qunari occasionally, taking in the sudden influx of refugees, and forming a routine in Lothering, she was finding it hard to leave. She always looked over her shoulder, worried that one day a templar would just look at her and know, but even that didn’t make her leave.

Juliana and Bethany had grown close, becoming fast friends and as such, gossiped about what happened in the village during the day. Most of the time it was gossip relating to who had stone what from who and other small-town things, and Juliana found herself loving the routine and finding a new normal.

Everything changed after she’d stayed in the village of Lothering for a couple of months.

At first, it was just a few people, nothing unusual, the refugees from before had been coming and going, most of them heading north. What was different was the fear that was painted so clearly in their eyes. They were panicked and always jumping at any sound or subtle movement. Juliana found it odd but she made no comment on it since, those people were usually gone after a couple of days.

Then they started flooding in. Larger groups of people started flooding the streets of Lothering and Juliana could tell that the templars were starting to feel the pressure of keeping up with the security of the village. These new refugees were less interested in staying for a couple of nights and some rest, rather as soon as they arrived, they bought some goods and then took off. It was a new pace and Juliana found herself drawn to the chaos. She helped where she could but still chose to not help.

It wasn’t until another month had gone by that the choice to stay away was taken from her. She was walking back to Lothering after having taken a stroll with Bethany when she found him. It was a little elf boy, his eyes were wide and fearful, blood caked his clothes and Juliana fell to her knees beside him, worried he might be injured. The boy inched away but he couldn’t get far before letting out a blood curdling scream.

She moved closer and spoke as softly as she could. “Are you okay?” The boy was crying, tears cutting through the light blanket of dirt on his face. He shook his head. “Okay, can I help you?” she asked, and the boy nodded. He didn’t say anything but he was able to move his arm and pointed to his leg. Juliana’s gaze followed the direction and there she could see the blood that was heavily oozing from the boy’s pants. She carefully lifted the pant leg and she felt her heart stop.

There was a deep jagged cut and the flesh around it was extremely raw. She closed her eyes and tried to get a hold of herself. Her teeth were clenched tightly and her jaw was flexing from the pressure. “This might hurt,” she breathed before she brought her hands to the boy’s leg. The boy flinched the instant her hands touched his leg, but she didn’t let him move, she needed to at least stop the bleeding if he was going to make it.

She closed her eyes and focused on everything she’d learned in the Tower. She recalled moments with Wynne, her kind voice instructing her on how to properly cast healing spells and she brought those memories forward. Juliana let her magic build in the palms of her hands and pushed it forwards to the tips of her fingers. Slowly, she felt her magic working to mend the flesh beneath her fingers. When she felt that her job was done, she opened her eyes and looked down to find the boy’s leg completely healed. The only sign that he’d been hurt was the drying blood.

Juliana’s gaze then moved up to the boy’s face and the look there almost made her melt. His green eyes were wide and full of tears but also so thankful for what she’d done, but she just made a mistake. She let her biggest secret out, to a child no less and she didn’t know what she was going to do. She breathed in deeply, trying to get her thoughts in order before she completely lost her cool. “Where are your parents?”

The boy’s face fell and his eyes filled with a fresh wave of tears. “I don’t know,” he cried. “They told me to run, that they’d catch up with me later, but then I got hurt and I don’t know where everyone is.” He rubbed at his eyes before looking up at Juliana again.

“How old are you?” she asked.

“Eleven,” he answered softly and Juliana felt her heart break.

“Do you remember where your parents were? Maybe we can take you back to them,” she asked, her brows raising, hoping it would encourage the boy to agree.

He shook his head. “The clan was moving. Then darkspawn started coming,” he whimpered. Juliana sucked in a breath and tried to keep a neutral expression at the new knowledge. She didn’t know how to tell the boy that his family was no longer alive, much less tell him that she didn’t know what to do. “I don’t know where they were going.”

Juliana let her head hang for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. “Okay,” she started after a minute of silence. “This is what we can do: you can come with me to Lothering and in the morning we can try to see what we can do. But before that I have to erase your memory,” she added with a pain expression.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I’m a mage and there’s templars in Lothering.” He looked at her with a confused expression, then she remembered that he was a Dalish elf and would have no knowledge of human society. “There are bad people, who will take me away if they know what I can do,” she explained, motioning to the boy’s healed leg, hoping he would understand.

“But you can do magic. We honor and respect those with the Gift,” he replied, his brow furrowed with confusion and Juliana melted a little at the sight.

“It may be true for your people, but for mine, they will lock me away, or worse.” His eyes widened.

“I can keep a secret,” he whispered, trying to convince her. “I won’t say anything. I promise.”

Juliana ground her teeth together, her mind racing at what her options were. She could leave the boy behind and erase his memory anyway, but she couldn’t do that. Not only was it wrong, but she would never forgive herself if anything happened to him. She could take him with her and erase his memory anyway, but that would raise more questions than she cared to answer. Her final option was to take him with her and trust that he could keep a secret. In the end, she’d always known what she was going to do, there was really nothing else she could do.

“Alright,” she sighed. She waved her hands over the boy and his clothes glowed with magic. When it faded away, his clothes were free of blood and any sign of tear was gone. “We can’t go into town if you looked like you did a moment ago,” she explained. “Come,” she said and started walking back towards the village.

“What is your name?” he asked. He walked quietly beside Juliana for most of the way but being a child meant that he couldn’t remain quiet for long.

“Juliana,” she answered. “And yours?”

“Nerien,” he answered, looking up at her. “My parents wanted me to be a strong warrior, so my name means ‘to enjoy violence,’” he explained.

Juliana’s eyes widened, almost comically. Then she looked down and found Nerien looking longingly at the flowers as they passed by them. “And do you?” she asked. When he looked up at her, his brow furrowed, she added: “enjoy it, I mean. Do you enjoy violence?”

He squinted his eyes in concentration and looked at the ground for a long moment. “No,” he answered as he shook his head, his dark hair falling into his eyes. Juliana watched as his hand reached over a flower and he tugged on it, breaking the stem and pulled the bud close to his chest. She made no further comment and walked the rest of the way in silence, letting Nerien run around until they were too back in Lothering.

* * *

The following day was when things finally escalated. Nerien was sleeping soundly on the loveseat in her room and Juliana was in her bed. The light streaming in through the window was bright enough that Juliana could no longer ignore its presence. She got up from the bed and got ready for the day and woke the boy up before going down to get breakfast. The morning was uneventful, they ate in the room and Juliana took Nerien to get a few more clothes. She was surprised to find that he didn’t stray too far from her side, although she would later realize that it was likely due to fear of being in a new place, a human village, at that.

It wasn’t until mid-day that things took a turn for the worst. It happened suddenly. One minute there was silence and the next the village gates were being flooded by panicked people rushing to get into the village’s gates. Every which way she looked, Juliana saw people crying and screaming about the sudden appearance of darkspawn. Hordes and hordes of them, popping up from the ground and charging at anyone and everything. The events they were describing were things of nightmares and Juliana felt her blood run cold.

It wasn’t long before the entire village was filled with refugees, setting up camp around the outskirts. This time, they weren’t leaving, though. They were settling down for as long as they could, the majority of them were wounded and a few could barely move on their own. The templars even left the Chantry to instead stand guard over the entrance to the village, a few others went around the camps and made sure everyone was alright.

Juliana pulled Nerien close to her and away from the gathering people. “We have to help,” Nerien said quietly. Juliana looked down at him and found determination in his gaze; she knew this kid was going to have her wrapped around her finger, he practically already did.

“Fine,” she grumbled. She guided him to a house that was just over the bridge. She saw an older woman walking out of a house and Juliana recognized her. Over the last few months she’d seen the woman help those who were injured or needed any kind of help.

“What can I do for you dear?” the woman asked.

“I’d like to help,” Juliana answered. The woman looked skeptical so Juliana tried again. “I know how to make health poultices and I know a little about closing wounds,” she offered. She thanked all of her friends back at the Circle Tower for having her learn how to close their wounds to keep their antics hidden from the older mages and enchanters. She also thanked Wynne for never asking too many questions and for teaching her what she could about medicine. Juliana figures that might be why the woman was the only person in the Tower who never got pranked.

The woman hesitated but after a moment she nodded her head reluctantly. She guided them towards a tent that had refugees that were terribly wounded and told Juliana what to do. Surprisingly enough Nerien was quite helpful, knowing what plants could be used to ease pain or calm nerves, he followed orders easily and went about completing tasks with ease.

They spent the following weeks working in those tents. If they weren’t trying to close wounds, they were trying to help distribute food, and if they weren’t doing either thing they were sleeping. Even some of the Chantry sisters came out to give their support for a few hours before they returned to the safety of the Chantry.

On extremely slow days, the days when no one new came to the village and there was nothing else she could do, Juliana could be found in the Chantry praying to the Maker. Nerien was usually next to her on these days too, though he sat in the Chantry’s library with one of the lay sisters who was kind enough to teach him to read. It was on one such day that a boy from the village stormed into the Chantry calling for her. At the sound of quick heavy footsteps, Juliana opened her eyes and looked around trying to find the source of commotion. The boy was frantically looking around the Chantry before he quickly charged forward towards her.

“Elder Miriam needs you to go to the healer’s tent,” he rushed out, only stopping to pant heavily when the words were out.

Juliana hesitantly stood up, but there was worry in her eyes. “What is it, what happened?”

“I don’t know,” the boy answered. “A few villagers came back carrying someone in. They were bleeding heavily and they had fainted.”

Juliana nodded seriously. “I’ll be back in a moment,” she said before she walked to the library. “We have to go,” she told Nerien as soon as she saw him. She waited as the boy excused himself from the Chantry sister and then they were practically running down the aisles.

“What happened?” Nerien asked as they were running to where the healer’s tent was.

“I don’t know, but Elder Miriam sent someone to find me.” As soon as they were in front of the tent Juliana pulled one of the flaps open and stopped in her tracks. She let it drop and turned to look at Nerien. “I think you should wait out here,” she said, her lips trembling slightly. Nerien looked at her curiously but gave in and sat on top of a few crates off to the side.

She walked into the tent and the sight was much worse than the first glance she’d caught when she first looked inside. There were two people laying on cots, their clothes and bodies caked in blood and dirt, and blood was dripping onto the floor. The pungent smell of blood was so thick in the air that she nearly gagged. She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly trying to ignore her rapidly beating heart.

“You’re here!” an older woman, Elder Miriam, called out relieved. “They’re both heavily wounded, can you look at her?” she asked, pointing to one of the cots.

Juliana nodded and quickly rushed to the woman’s side. She called over some of the women who were waiting for orders and had them help her undress the woman. She wore steel armor and they had to rush to undo the clasps holding it together. As soon as it was off Juliana was shocked to see just how soaked in blood the woman’s clothes were. They couldn’t pull anything off. She reached over for a pair of scissors and began cutting at the fabric. It took long minutes but she was finally able to get a clear view of the body in front of her.

Her eyes moved quickly over exposed skin trying to find where the blood had been coming from. She ordered one of the women to help her wash away the dirt and dried blood that were obscuring any wounds. They were working as fast as they could, but the woman was losing blood quickly and Juliana still couldn’t find the source of the blood. It wasn’t until they reached the woman’s abdomen that she was able to find the wound. It was deep and the blood wouldn’t stop pouring out. But the more dirt and blood they washed away, the more wounds were found. The woman had over four severe wounds covering her body and each of them was losing blood.

“Hold here,” Juliana ordered. “Firmly.” She stood up and walked over to Miriam. “I can’t work here,” she said softly, drawing the woman’s attention from the man in front of her. She looked at Juliana incredulously and Juliana rushed to explain. “There’s too many people here and her injuries are severe, I need to take her somewhere else.”

Elder Miriam nodded resolutely. “The tent three over is empty, you can take her there.” Juliana nodded and walked back to her charge.

She told one of the women to go get a couple of men who could help them move the injured woman, and soon enough they were taking the woman to the empty tent. “I need you to help me,” Juliana said as she stopped next to Nerien. He stood up and with fire in his eyes followed her as she walked into the tent. “Everyone out,” she commanded. The women who came along stared at each other before Juliana raised her voice at them, kicking them out of the tent.

“What do you need?” Nerien asked, his hand impatiently moving at his sides.

“I need to stop the bleeding,” she said quietly and told him to get her a few herbs. They spent long minutes trying to keep the wounds clean, but with the continuing blood flow, it was difficult and Juliana could feel the woman slipping away.

“Is she going to be okay?” he asked, anxiously.

“Stand guard outside,” she answered. He looked at her questioningly, but when she only stood up and got some herbs herself, he knew he wouldn’t be getting an answer.

Juliana looked down at the woman and her heart clenched in her chest. This woman was obviously a warrior, the plate armor she’d been brought in proved that, and she had been injured helping refugees, there was no way she was going to let her die. The only problem was that she had already lost a lot of blood and there was no normal way that she would recover. So, Juliana stood over her, trying to clean the woman’s body as much as she could before she went about doing a very dangerous task. She would have to magically heal this woman, give her some of Juliana’s own life force and hope that it was enough to keep her alive.

She pulled a chair next to the woman’s cot and set to work. She called her magic forward, letting it build in her chest and channeling out through her fingertips. The largest wound was the real problem, so she first mended as much as she could, stopping the bleeding. She could feel the sweat building on her brow but she had to remain focused. It took many long hours, she could feel her arms burning, every second that she healed, her skin burned with exertion. This wasn’t what she knew how to do, healing wasn’t what she excelled at and it scared her that she might make a mistake; every spell she was using was barely enough to do anything but she kept trying, her focus never wavering.

Hours later, the moon had already risen and started its descent when Juliana finally had to stop. Her entire energy reserves were depleted and if she exerted herself for even a little bit more, she would faint from exhaustion and that was the last thing she needed.

She quietly called out for Nerien and he walked in, his eyes drowsy from sleep. “Fetch me something to eat, will you?” she asked as she finally stood from the chair.

The woman’s wounds were not completely healed, the flesh was still torn, the gashes were all deep and the only thing she had been able to do was stop the bleeding and help speed up the woman’s natural healing. She moved through the tent with lazy steps, gathering the materials she would need to sew the wounds closed, she only hoped that the woman wouldn’t be able to feel it.

After Nerien returned with food, Juliana dismissed him, telling him that she wouldn’t be going to bed that night. She worked carefully to close the wounds and keep them clean, but when she was done the day caught up to her and she had to close her eyes for a moment.

She woke up, startled, when the early morning sun had started rising. The woman had groaned, the sound scaring Juliana from her slumber and causing her to rush to the woman’s side. Once there she was struck with the most crystal blue eyes she had ever seen. She tried talking to the woman, but as soon as she started saying something, the woman fell unconscious. This happened many more times over the course of the day, and every time, Juliana rushed to the woman’s side hoping to get a read on how she was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so for those of you who have played DA I just have to say that I love Bethany Hawke. She is one of my faves and I am obsessed with her at all times, after the origins characters. I just wanted to have her meet Juliana, which could also give her some insight as to how she can remain hidden from the templars.
> 
> any guesses as to who the injured person is???
> 
> let me know what you think! :)


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Valentina Carvajal of South Reach!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I have taken some creative liberties here. In-game some other person is the ruler of South Reach but in order for this to work for me I made the Carvajal family the rulers, don't question it.
> 
> I do not own anything Dragon Age or BioWare. This chapter has quite a bit of the dialogue from the beginning of the game so this is where the ball is gonna start rolling! Side note, the only thing I own is the Warden, she is my baby and I love her.
> 
> also, wardens staying out of politics and religion has to be the funniest thing in the world. smh
> 
> edited by microsoft word, my bff.

The mood was shifting. Soldiers who before had been excited and more than ready for war were now praying with a Chantry sister. Others were drinking, trying to avoid thinking about the impending battle. Valentina could hear the raucous laughter of those trying to lighten the mood and she appreciated their attempts, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling that something bad was going to happen. She didn’t know how to explain it, but it was like a heavy stone rested over her chest and it wouldn’t let her breathe.

Only now, in her tent, waiting to be called for battle, did she start regretting convincing her father to let her fight the darkspawn. She had begged and urged, and she knew that the only reason her father caved was because Teyrn Loghain had called upon him, seeking aid in the king’s battle against the darkspawn. Valentina had taken that chance to talk with the teyrn who then convinced her father. Now, with the battle only hours away she wished she could have stopped it.

“My Lady,” her squire, Alberto, spoke as he walked into her tent. “The soldiers are getting restless.”

“Here,” Valentina said as she handed the young man a pouch full of money. “Find a bard and get them to lift spirits.” Alberto nodded and quickly ran back out. She moved to sit on the plush chair in her tent and tried to distract herself by going over one of the maps the other war leaders had planned. When that didn’t work, she stepped out of her tent and walked around the war encampment.

“The Warden is back” she heard a couple of soldiers whispering a few feet away. She turned around and sure enough Warden-Commander Duncan was walking through the gates. Right behind him was a thin elven woman, Duncan’s new recruit, her lips set in a firm frown and her eyes were cold and glaring at everyone. Valentina watched as the woman walked between the tents, her steps sure and her head held high. She surmised it had to do with trying to appear strong in the face of the dangers that were sure to come.

The woman turned her head and their eyes met briefly. Valentina held the gaze for a second before the other woman moved her gaze back to the camp.

Valentina wondered what had drawn the Warden-Commander to this woman. The Grey Wardens are an old and ancient order, that was very adept at fighting darkspawn all through the continent of Thedas. They recruited members from every walk of life, ignoring their race and criminal past; if you were a human, an elf, a dwarf, a murderer, thief, mage, warrior, it didn’t matter.

But this woman, she seemed to be there against her will. There was a deep sadness that Valentina could see, even from a distance and she couldn’t tell what about her had drawn Duncan to her. When the pair were far from sight, she shook her head at herself and continued on her walk through the camp.

Hours later, Valentina still hadn’t been able to shake off the feeling of dread that was filling her, but she couldn’t dwell on it. The king and the teyrn had called a war table meeting before the battle the following night and Valentina was to represent the arling of South Reach in her father’s name.

She stood by the table, waiting for King Cailan, Teyrn Loghain, Duncan, and the newest Grey Warden. She was surprised to hear that out of the three recruits Duncan had brought, only one of them had been initiated into the organization, she vaguely wondered what happened to the two other men. The Grey Wardens were very secretive about their initiation ritual, so Valentina had absolutely no intention of asking about the two men, knowing that all that would get here were stares and vague answers and more questions.

After a few minutes of waiting, almost everyone was present, the only person missing was the newest Grey Warden, but they started their meeting without her. They went through many of their plans and had set everything but Cailan and Loghain were not reaching an agreement. Valentina looked up from a war map when she noticed the new Warden approaching the table, but her attention was drawn to the king and the teyrn.

“Loghain, my decision is final,” Cailan stated. “I will stand by the Grey Wardens in this assault.”

“You risk too much, Cailan!” Loghain answered, his voice was deep and gravelly. The darkspawn horde is too dangerous for you to be playing hero on the front lines.”

“If that’s the case, perhaps we should wait for the Orlesian forces to join us after all,” Cailan retorted.

“I must repeat my protest to your fool notion that we need the Orlesians to defend ourselves!”

“It is not a ‘fool notion,’” Cailan said, emphatically. “Our arguments with the Orlesians are a thing of the past… and you will remember who is king.”

“How fortunate Maric did not live to see his son ready to hand Ferelden over to those who enslaved us for a century!”

“Then out current forces will have to suffice, won’t they?” Cailan turned to Duncan. “Duncan, are your men ready for battle?”

Duncan, who had remained silent for most of the planning finally spoke. “They are your Majesty.” His voice was low but had a soothing calmness about it that gave Valentina hope; hope that they may come out of this battle victorious.

“Is this the young Dalish elf I met earlier,” Cailan said, his voice sounding more pleasant now that they were on about the Wardens. “I understand congratulations are in order.”

“I had no choice,” the woman said, her voice was light but firm, almost as if she had a personal grudge against the king. Valentina could never really understand what elves felt when interacting with humans. She personally treated all of the elves who worked in her father’s castle kindly, offering a kind word and a smile. Though, she had to admit that she had grown up to believe that the Dalish elves were uncivilized people who only sought to invade and steal from hardworking people. Looking at the woman, however, she couldn’t see any of the things she had been warned about growing up.

“Every Grey Warden is needed now,” Cailan said, ignoring the flat comment. “You should be honored to join their ranks.”

“Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan!” Loghain barged in. “We must attend to reality.”

“Fine, speak your strategy. The Grey Wardens and I draw the darkspawn into charging out lines and then…?” the king caved. Valentina knew most of what the plan was, but since Duncan had been quiet, she didn’t know what the Wardens would be doing in the battle.

“You will alert the tower to light the beacon, signaling my men to charge from cover.”

“To flank the darkspawn, I remember. This is the Tower of Ishal in the ruins, yes?” the king asked rhetorically. “Who shall light this beacon?”

“I have a few men stationed there,” Loghain answered immediately. “It is not a dangerous task, but it is vital.”

“Then we should send our best. Send Alistair and the new Grey Warden to make sure it’s done.”

“As you wish, Your Majesty,” the Warden answered with bite in her words and the slightest hint of a snarl.

“You rely on these Grey Wardens too much. Is that truly wise?”

“Enough of your conspiracies, Loghain!” the kind nearly shouted. “Grey Wardens battle the Blight, no matter where they’re from.”

“Your Majesty,” Duncan spoke up, calmly. “You should consider the possibility of the archdemon appearing.” Those words sent a freezing chill down Valentina’s spine. Sure, they were fighting darkspawn, she knew what that meant, genlocks, hurlocks, even ogres, but everyone knew that the large ghastly dragon that was known as the archdemon was the real sign of a Blight.

Even now, most of the soldiers were under the impression that this wasn’t a real Blight, but Duncan speaking those words made Valentina wonder what they were really coming up against. They didn’t have nearly enough soldiers to take on a full blight, much less if they were being led by the archdemon itself. They couldn’t fight off a full-size dragon along with its ruthless minions following its every command.

“There have been no signs of any dragons in the Wilds,” Loghain huffed, and Valentina took small comfort from his words. The Kocari Wilds were just outside of their camp in Ostagar, an ancient fortress that stood there before Ferelden was a nation. The Wilds were full of tribe’s people and witches who escaped Chantry law, and most recently, it was the center of where the darkspawn were coming from.

“Isn’t that what your men are here for, Duncan?” the king asked.

“I…” Duncan stuttered. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Your Majesty,” a Circle mage approached the table. “The tower and its beacon are unnecessary. The Circle of Magi--”

“We will not trust any lives to your spells, mage!” a Chantry sister, interrupted, walking up behind him. Her voice was low and menacing and the mage clenched his jaw tightly to prevent himself from saying anything. “Save them for the darkspawn!”

“Enough!” Loghain shouted. “This plan will suffice. The Grey Wardens will light the beacon.”

“Thank you, Loghain,” the king said. “I cannot wait for that glorious moment! The Grey Wardens battle beside the king of Ferelden to stem the tide of evil!” Valentina watched as he spoke so poetically about the Grey Wardens. She finally took the time to really look at the king, his face covered lightly with stubble, his blue eyes shining brightly with the promise of victory.

He looked handsome and she remembers a time when they were younger and her family would go to Denerim, Ferelden’s capital, for king Maric’s festivals. The kids would always run around together, ignoring the adults, and one of those times she’d shared a kiss with the current king. Back then, he was lanky, but slowly growing into the warrior he was destined to be, his mop of blonde hair was unruly and fell over his eyes. His smile was always happy and kind and it was no surprise that he had all of the ladies from Court vying for his attention, she even knew a few lords who would have given anything for even a single night with him.

She however, had never shared that interest with the ladies from Court. She liked him for other reasons, reasons that had nothing to do with his dimples or the way his charming smile let him get away with anything. If anything, those attributes only made him more of a brother, she liked him, of course she did, but it was always because he never treated her like a child.

He was older than her and stronger but he always spoke to her as an equal. He placed his sword in her hand and taught her how to swing it, that was the first time she knew she wanted to be a warrior too. And when he kissed her one day, under the firelight during one of the festivals he was kind when she pushed him away. He immediately apologized when he realized that she was not interested.

It was also the same night she ever confessed to not liking boys, and again he was supportive. He warned that in their circle they had to keep those things secret, but that she could do whatever she wished and no one should take that from her. They hugged and danced after that and he never changed the way he talked to her, if anything, she found that she liked talking to him more than ever.

A few years later, after his father had died, she discovered that he was marrying Anora, Teyrn Loghain’s daughter and Valentina saw the light in his eyes dimming. At the wedding she had talked to him during a dance, and he seemed to take everything in stride, answering that ‘I must honor my father and Loghain has been around since I was a child. It is only logical I marry Anora.’ She believed him because what could she say to that. If her father arranged a marriage for her, she would go through with it because she knew it was her duty as a daughter, she wouldn’t like it but she wouldn’t really argue.

And if Valentina was to be completely honest, she knew that Cailan needed Anora as his queen. Sure, he was strong and charismatic, but she also knew the kind of free spirit that he was. Anora had been raised mostly by her Loghain in Denerim, and she knew Ferelden’s politics almost as well as any lord. She had a strong will and a determined stand on almost any subject, and she strived to do what was best for the people of Ferelden. If anything, Anora was the true ruler and Cailan was her dutiful husband who stood beside her.

She was brought back to the conversation when Loghain responded icily. “Yes, Cailan. A glorious moment for us all.” The way he said it, coupled with the way he turned and stared off into the distance sent shivers down Valentina’s spine.

* * *

Night fell and finally, it was time to go to battle. Valentina had Alberto fasten her armor, the slightly heavy plate armor did little to soothe the nerves flooding her body. After the war table meeting, she had returned to her tent and began getting ready. Her hair was braided back and tied into a crown around her head. She made sure that everything was fastened and only needed Alberto to make sure everything was tight.

In a few moments they would be called out to enter battle and she was not ready to face off against these monsters. Sure, she knew about them, read about them, but she had never fought them before. She had no idea what to expect, all she knew was that they could win. They had one four times already, but the last Blight happened over four hundred years ago and even then, the Blight took place north, in the Free Marches, Antiva, Rivain and the Anderfels. No one but the dwarves and Grey Wardens ever had to deal with them otherwise.

“My Lady,” a messenger said as he stepped into her tent, fear in his eyes. “The teyrn is preparing to march,” then he left as quickly as he’d appeared.

“It’s time, Alberto,” Valentina said as she secured her quiver and bow before attaching her shield and then her sword and dagger around her waist. Alberto nodded shortly and followed behind her.

There was a strike of lightning followed by peals of thunder. Rain started pouring and Valentina rolled her eyes. Of course, it would start raining. Valentina hurried to stand at the head of her father’s men and waited for Loghain to give the order. Minutes later she was marching through Ostagar’s gates and waiting for the Wardens to light the tower.

She could hear them. She could hear their loud roars, their deep grunts and even the bashing of metal against metal. Every sound they made was amplified by the uncanny silence that settled over the human armies. The rain was pouring and blurring everyone’s vision, but even then, they could see some fires being lit behind enemy lines.

The banners could be heard flapping in the wind. Then there was a chain of lightning illuminating the entire battlefield and then it started. A thick heavy mist inched forward blanketing the ground. Their growls grew louder and angry footsteps squelched under the wet ground. Valentina moved to stand by her archers, waiting for Cailan’s orders.

She couldn’t make any of them out individually but she could see hundreds of heads that made up the darkspawn army. One of the men standing slightly in front of her tried to move back and she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. Her face was set firm and cold as stone, she couldn’t show weakness in front of her men. She needed to show them confidence.

Then the darkspawn charged.

“Archers!” Cailan shouted, and Valentina looked at her men.

“Nock!” she shouted and her men secured their arrows into their bows. “Draw!” they pulled the string back and she waited for the next move. Cailan threw his hand forward. “Loose!” Thousands of arrows went flying through the air, cutting through the air and piercing hundreds of bodies, but it wasn’t enough.

Cailan set the hounds out and Valentina had her men reload their bows. “Loose.” A few moments later “For Ferelden!” Cailan shouted and his men pushed forward, swords and shields at the ready.

Valentina could hear the blood pounding in her ears and her heart was beating wildly. She could hear the clashing of metal against metal. The squelch a body made when it was pierced through. She could barely make out splashes of blood before the bodies fell to the ground. “Nock! Draw! Loose!” she shouted. She wanted to do more, but she was here on Loghain’s behest, she had to follow orders.

She looked up trying to see if the tower was lit, but the Warden’s had yet to make it. Then there was a ball of fire flying through the night sky and it slammed into the bridge of the fortress behind them, knocking part of the bridge down. The battle waged on, bodies and bodies piling up and there was nothing she could do.

“Sound the retreat.” It was said so quietly that Valentina wasn’t sure she heard right. She turned her head to look at Loghain talking with his second-in-command. She looked hesitant but Loghain didn’t waver and the soldier did as asked. Valentina ordered one more round of arrows and then turned to look behind her.

The tower was alight. The fire was burning bright and that sense of dread she had been feeling all day made a forceful reappearance. She could hear orderly footsteps retreating and she watched as Loghain marched his armies away from the battle. She stood frozen, her men waiting for her next order. The teyrn had betrayed his king and now Valentina stood in the middle of a battle, not knowing what she should do.

She looked at Alberto and found his worried gaze. She turned her gaze to her men who were watching in abject horror as Loghain Mac Tir, the Hero of River Dane, Teyrn of Gwaren, close friend to the late King Maric, royal advisor and father-in-law to King Cailan, marched his men away.

Valentina took a deep steadying breath and looked forward at the ongoing battle. “For Ferelden!” she screamed as she unsheathed her sword and marched forward. Her sword quickly slashing through as many darkspawn as she could. Her men shouted bravely as they launched themselves into the fray. She watched as many of her men were struck down.

The darkspawn were large and intimidating, even the shortest of their members was able to take on at least five of her men and she knew they were grossly overwhelmed. Every time she killed a monster, three more would appear and then there was a lull in the fight.

A loud evil piercing roar broke through the battle. Out came an ogre, flanked by other darkspawn. It was at least twelve feet tall, its skin a dark violet, dark yellow teeth and lips rotten and pulled back. Large jagged horns sprouted from the side of its head and its hands had long sharp fingers prepared to do the most damage.

Then Valentina witnessed the worst thing she could have imagined. The ogre picked up Cailan in its large hand and tossed him from hand to hand before raising him up in one hand. It screamed in his face, spit flying from its mouth and Cailan was limp in his hold. It flexed its hand and the resounding crunch Cailan’s body made had Valentina screaming in horror.

She was about to charge forward when a tight grip around her waist stopped her. “We have to go, my lady,” Alberto said into her ear and dragged her away. She was hysterical but she couldn’t do anything. The king was dead, and she knew exactly who to blame.

* * *

Once they were far enough away from the battle Alberto let Valentina go and she screamed. The sound was heartbreaking and full of anger, despair and sorrow and Alberto didn’t know what he was supposed to do now that they were momentarily out of danger, so he let her cry and scream.

After long minutes of this Valentina finally stopped, her tears slowing to a silent river marking lines through her sweat and blood caked face. Her eyes were even brighter now, the blue so clear and bright through the darkness surrounding them.

“Why did you drag me away!” Valentina screamed at him, standing toe-to-toe with him, she towered slightly over him and he cowered.

“Your father,” was his response and Valentina completely lost it again.

“My father!? My father!? You’re under my command! Not his!” she shouted in his face. “You do what I say! My father,” she finished mournfully. “I should have died out there, with my people!” she shouted suddenly. “It was my choice to fight and it is my right to die among them!”

Alberto remained silent.

Valentina started walking away, her heart heavy with betrayal on two fronts. The first, Loghain betraying the king, pulling his troops and letting the darkspawn have Ostagar. The second, her father trying to control the one thing she thought she had control over. What really hurt was that all of her men were dead, or they would be soon, and she was perfectly fine and living. And now she had to go home to South Reach and look in the eyes of her men’s families and explain to them why she was still alive while their sons, husbands, fathers, weren’t coming back. Had to explain why she was there and not their boys who had gone to fight the king’s war.

But now there was nothing she could do. If she returned, she would be killed, there was not even the slightest chance that she could make a dent in the darkspawn forces. So, she started walking north, where she knew the Imperial Highway would be. The long road she would have to travel to see the people who had lost so much, and she had to keep Loghain’s secret.

There was no way she could reveal his retreat, he would make himself Regent under Anora and he could have Valentina punished for treason and no one would question him. All she had now was the knowledge that everyone who had fought at Ostagar was dead. In her heart she prayed that the two Wardens sent to the Tower of Ishal would make it, but deep down, she knew it was unlikely.

* * *

They travelled in silence and not from a lack of trying from Alberto’s part, but Valentina wasn’t in the mood. She was mourning the loss of a friend, of a brother, of a king and she couldn’t bring herself to care about anything else. The only time she addressed Alberto was when they were getting ready to move in the morning after camping for the night and when she needed to bathe to let him know where she was. Other than those times, she was silent.

Her gaze was always steady and careful, trying to not get caught off guard. It worked for a week, and then they were surrounded.

They had been making camp when they started hearing low grunts and groans coming from the trees. Valentina immediately recognized them as darkspawn and drew her sword. Alberto followed shortly behind her and stood slightly behind her, waiting for her word to proceed.

They were surrounded. She knew they were surrounded, but she didn’t know just how overwhelmed they would be. It was a group of three hurlocks, tall darkspawn with pale white rotting flesh, dark eyes and dressed in armor. She could take them. She’d taken out a few of them in Ostagar, but she wasn’t counting on what happened.

Before they attacked, the hurlocks let out a heart wrenching scream drawing a red glow to emanate from their flesh. Valentina stood, waiting for them to make the first move, and did they make it.

The tallest hurlock propelled itself forward, sword raised and ready to cut through anything that stood in its way. Valentina narrowly dodged its first swing but she wasn’t lucky the second time. It struck her arm leaving a thin trail of blood, but she remained standing. She quickly reached for her shield and started pushing back, what she didn’t expect was for the hurlock to pierce through her sword and armor.

She felt the cool metal break through the skin of her abdomen before it pushed even further into her, parting her flesh and she couldn’t breathe. She steeled herself and swung her sword and surprisingly sliced its head clean off. Alberto was not faring much better; he was already bleeding heavily; his arms were covered in scrapes and then she watched as one of the hurlocks sliced right down his thigh.

Valentina stumbled forward and drew the monster’s attention to her. She swung lazily, her arms feeling heavy. She could feel her blood seeping into her clothes and running down her body. The hurlock cut her arm and she let out a scream of pain before her hand went limp and she lost her hold on her sword.

Alberto luckily, managed to get his bearings and struck the hurlock down with a few swings of his sword. The remaining hurlock had stayed back, watching as its friends tried their best with Valentina and Alberto, but now that they were gone, it moved forward. Its steps were slow and measured, head tilting this way and that, trying to find the greatest point of weakness.

Then it charged forward, sword raised and ready to strike. Valentina stood on unsteady feet and prepared for the coming onslaught of rage and blood that was about to follow. What she didn’t expect was just how much stronger the hurlock was than her. She quickly bent down to grab her sword and swung blindly, barely hitting it, but even if she did land a blow it barely did anything to it. The hurlock only stood its ground preparing for another powerful swing. Alberto had finally gotten his bearings and was able to fight alongside Valentina, but it wasn’t enough, the hurlock was much stronger than them.

She felt a searing pain on both her legs and she fell to her knees, her eyes closed from the blinding pain that was shooting through her. Then, the world fell dark and she only hoped that it would be a quick death, now that she was down.

* * *

“We must get them to Lothering.” Valentina felt herself being lifted and settled on a hard surface. She heard the voices of a few men and then she was out again.

* * *

Valentina only wakes again when she feels a searing pain coursing through her veins. She can feel that she’s awake, but she can’t open her eyes and she can’t make a sound. But she can hear. She can hear the soft murmurs of a woman sitting beside her. She can feel hands laying on her exposed skin, but her flesh burns where she is being touched and she wants to make it stop. Then, she hears a deep sigh followed by someone’s name being called and then she fades back into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in my head I have Cailan and Valentina being close friends, idk why but he seems like the kind of guy who would reluctantly take up a leadership role (SPOILER:kinda like Alistair).
> 
> so. there we are. The betrayal!!! The loss!!!! This hurt to write ngl. phew
> 
> leave your thoughts and comments plz! :)
> 
> updates may be coming slower than they have been due to the COVID-19 stuff. but they might also come faster since i don't have class for a while. who knows really. stay safe and wash your hands, i suppose.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited meeting and unknown identities! Juliana gets discovered and has to leave, and she may just have a couple of companions she wasn't counting on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH what a shocking week it has been. I am shooketh. anyway, it feels like a long time since I've updated this fic so here is this chapter. I only have one other complete chapter done, but I am still working on it, but they will likely be coming in more slowly than anticipated. I have no self control and watch tv all day, so sorry about that.
> 
> Also if you follow my there would be history series, there will be an update on that soon, too. not sure when, but it's coming.

It took two days for the woman to fully be conscious. Juliana had taken a day to recover and she was ready to finish healing the woman’s wounds enough to not raise too much suspicion. She was cutting away the bandages around the woman’s abdomen when she felt a hand fall over hers. Juliana moved her gaze up to meet clear blue eyes and she stopped, afraid of what her patient might do.

“Where am I?” Her voice was weak and quiet but Juliana was able to hear her.

“You were severely injured. A few villagers found you and brought you into Lothering,” she offered as softly as she could. The woman tried to sit up and she fell back in pain, groaning. “Easy there, you’re still badly hurt.” And then realization hit her, she couldn’t finish healing the woman, if she did, the woman could turn her in, and that was the last thing she wanted.

“Where is Alberto?” Juliana stared at the woman with a questioning gaze. “My squire, the man I was with.”

Juliana shook her head slowly. “I don’t know, but I will ask.” She stood up and walked just outside the tent and called Nerien over when she saw him. “She’s up,” she said in relief and Nerien smiled up at her proudly. “Can you go ask Elder Miriam if the man she came in with is alright?”

Nerien nodded and ran off while she stepped back into the tent. “It hurts,” the woman groaned, she was trying to lift her arm.

“Here,” Juliana spoke softly as she picked up a balm that sat on a trunk. “This should help a little,” and she began spreading the balm around the stitched flesh and smiled slightly when the woman sighed in relief.

“Ahem.” Juliana looked up to see Nerien standing just inside the tent. There was a deep sorrow in his eyes and she didn’t have to ask what he had found out, she already knew. The man, Alberto, had not made it, his wounds must have been too severe, and seeing as how Juliana had healed the woman with her magic, she knew that without it, there had been nothing that could be done.

“I’m sorry,” Juliana said softly, looking down at the woman and placed her hand softly over hers, hoping to offer some comfort.

“No,” the woman whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. Juliana watched as the woman screwed her eyes shut and let out a loud scream. She stood up and walked to Nerien.

“I think we should give her some space,” she whispered and led him out of the tent.

“Is she okay, now?” he asked, taking a seat on a crate beside the tent.

“She isn’t bleeding anymore,” Juliana answered flatly. “She’ll be fine,” she added after a moment, affectionately ruffling his hair. “She’ll be in pain for a while, but she’ll heal.” He nodded and leaned into Juliana when she stood closer.

* * *

“You need to eat,” Juliana said as she held a bowl in front of the woman. She had spent the day coming and going, looking in at the other people who needed help, but every time she returned to the woman’s tent, she refused to eat anything.

“I’m not hungry,” the woman replied, her eyes staring at the top of the tent.

Juliana sighed deeply before leaving.

* * *

“Is she asleep?” Nerien asked quietly as they stepped into the tent. The sun had already set and Juliana was checking one final time on the woman.

“Probably,” she answered and sat in the chair next to the bed, getting ready to redress the woman’s wounds. “What have you heard in town?”

“The king is dead; they say he fought against the darkspawn. Betrayed by the Grey Wardens,” he whispered. Juliana’s hands froze. She closed her eyes, breathed in deeply, then kept working. It wasn’t that she cared all that much about the king, but it was still a shock to hear that the ruler of the country had fallen in battle. “Do you think they really betrayed the king?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “What else?”

“A few soldiers came into the village, they’re here on Teyrn Loghain’s orders. They were asking around about any Grey Wardens and telling people to let them know where they were. Who is Teyrn Loghain?” he asked, his head tilted to the side.

“The second most powerful man in Ferelden. Though now, I think he’s made sure he is the most powerful.” Sure, Juliana may have been brought up in the Circle Tower, away from people and the outside world, but the templars and the elder enchanters always made sure that apprentices and mages alike were knowledgeable about the country. She also knew some things about the teyrn, he was a legend, a true Fereldan hero.

He had been a rebel during the Orlesian occupation of Ferelden. While on the run he had, unbeknownst to him, befriended Maric Theirin, heir to the Fereldan throne. He became his most trusted friend and war advisor. He led the charge against the Orlesian chevaliers at River Dane and arose victorious. For his leadership, Maric rewarded him with the title of Teyrn of Gwaren.

Juliana knew the songs, she would hear them when she was just a child, and even after she was taken to the Tower, she remembered the stories of Loghain Mac Tir. He was her hero for a time, before she grew up and her interests turned to other subjects.

* * *

Unbeknownst to Nerien and Juliana, the woman had awakened as soon as they were in the tent and heard everything they were saying and after having listened enough she needed to say something.

“It wasn’t the Wardens,” she said, groaning.

Juliana’s hands stilled at the sound. Her eyes met blue and she pursed her lips. “Lay back down, you’ll tear the stitches,” she chastised as she gently pushed the woman back who had struggled to sit up.

“The Wardens didn’t betray the king,” the woman repeated.

“And how would you know?” Juliana asked, her brow raised.

“I was there.” Juliana stared at the woman for long silent moments.

“But everyone who was there died,” Nerien interjected, stepping closer to the bed. “The two Grey Wardens left weren’t even in the battle. That’s what everyone has been saying in the village.”

“It was Loghain,” the woman said.

Juliana’s hands stilled once again and she turned to look at Nerien. “Go outside,” she said firmly. He was about to protest but at her sharp gaze he did as told. “What you say is treason,” she sharply whispered.

“It is the truth.”

“You can’t repeat that. If Loghain’s men hear you they will come for you,” Juliana told the woman, her voice shaky. “Does he know you were there, that you stayed?”

“He called on me himself. I was to lead my father’s armies, but when he withdrew his troops I stayed behind,” the woman struggled. “He probably thinks I’m dead.”

“Good,” Juliana replied. As soon as the words were out, she knew that they hadn’t come out as intended and she rushed to elaborate. “It’s better that he doesn’t know you made it. You need time to recover and having a bounty on your head isn’t healthy,” she tried to joke, but it fell flat with the seriousness of the situation.

“But my father… he can’t think I’m dead. I have to go home.”

“Well you can’t leave yet. Your wounds were very deep and you need rest. Here, drink this, it will help you sleep,” she said, helping the woman up just enough to drink. When she set her down, her eyes were already falling closed and Juliana released a sigh.

* * *

“I need you to keep an ear out for whatever Loghain’s men are up to,” Juliana told Nerien quietly.

Nerien looked up at her with wide eyes. “What are you going to do?”

“I’ll stay here tonight. I will try to heal her as much as I can while she sleeps, but she needs to get out of here. The longer she stays, the more danger she will be in.”

“Be careful,” Nerien said softly, moving to give Juliana a hug and then slipped out of the tent.

Juliana looked back at the sleeping woman. “Who are you?” she asked, quietly before she took a seat next to her and went to work.

“How is it goi-” Juliana startled at the voice, pulling her hands immediately away from the woman’s sleeping form. She sat completely frozen, watching as Elder Miriam took in the scene in front of her. There was a soft white glow emanating from the woman’s wounds and Juliana knew there was no way to mistake what was happening. Juliana, a mage, was using magic to heal, and the templars knew nothing about it.

“I-I can expl-”

“Finish what you were doing, then come see me,” the elder said before walking back out.

Juliana felt tears prickling at her eyes and she let herself quietly cry. She placed her hands on the sleeping woman’s wound on her abdomen and let her magic flow through her, completing the rest of the spell. When she was done, she stood up. The wounds were mostly healed, the only sign of their presence would be the scars left behind, leaving no scars would be too suspicious, though she figured that now it didn’t really matter.

She moved to the flap of the tent with heavy steps. As soon as she was outside, she was hit with the biting cool air that had fallen over the village through the night. With measured steps she approached Elder Miriam’s tent. There were tears in her eyes but she steeled herself, she wasn’t going to cry.

“You have broken the law,” the older woman said as soon as Juliana was in her tent. She turned in her seat to look at Juliana who only nodded. “And yet, I cannot turn you in.” Juliana’s eyes widened at that. “You helped, you know the risks and you still stayed, and you have helped for much longer than just this wave of refugees.”

“What does that mean then?” Juliana asked, clenching her jaw when her voice cracked on her words.

“You can’t stay here,” Elder Miriam said, though to her credit, she did look saddened at that. “In the morning you will leave Lothering.”

“But I can help,” Juliana inched closer, her voice almost pleading. “You need the hel-”

“What I need is to make sure everyone is recovering properly. I do not, however, need templars hovering, questioning if I’m harboring apostates.” It wasn’t shouted, but her words had a lot of bite and her voice was raised. Juliana breathed in deeply before turning on her heel and exiting the tent.

She quickly walked to the tavern and up to her room. Making sure that she didn’t wake Nerien, she started packing her belongings. She was surprised by how much stuff she had acquired during her stay in Lothering. There were books Bethany had gifted her and a few trinkets that she’d bought frivolously and that she would sell in the morning before leaving. She dropped her bag onto the floor and finally let her tears fall.

Her silent whimpers filled the room. She laid down on her back and let the tears fall uncomfortably into her hairline, but she didn’t wipe them away. She didn’t know when she’d fallen asleep, but when she woke up from gentle shoves to her shoulder the sun had already risen. She sighed deeply before sitting up.

“Are you alright?” Nerien asked softly.

“I’m leaving Lothering,” Juliana answered, a tear slipping from her eye.

“Where are we going?”

“We?” Juliana asked, but Nerien only nodded. She sighed. “We are going to Gwaren, and then, hopefully, Nevarra.”

They remained in silence for a couple of minutes before Nerien spoke up. “Why are we leaving?”

“Elder Miriam knows, and she doesn’t want me around drawing the templars’ attention.”

He stepped up to Juliana who was still sitting on the bed and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “I never did like her,” he muttered and Juliana chuckled. “She was always calling me ‘Elf’ even when I told her my name.”

“Now that’s just rude,” Juliana replied lightly before standing up. “Well, seeing as you’re coming with me, give me your things. There’s some things to do in the market before we go.” Nerien let go of her shoulders and started folding his clothes before handing them to Juliana.

When they were done Juliana led them through the market and sold off the small trinkets that she had. Just as she was about to leave the merchant’s stand, she felt a tug at her arm. She looked over at Nerien who was pointing at a bow hanging on a weaponry wall behind the merchant.

“Can you even shoot?” she asked, her brow furrowed. He crossed his arms and looked at her unimpressed. “Right, you’re Dalish, of course you know how to shoot,” she said quietly to herself. She asked the merchant if she could see the bow. He handed it over and Nerien took it into his hands excitedly, handling the wood with expert fingers. He pulled at the string and aimed, though he had no arrows; Juliana tried to contain a laugh at how odd it was to see a child with a weapon. “How much?” she asked.

“50 silvers,” the merchant said, extending his hand.

“This is Yew wood,” Nerien said, suddenly and Juliana pulled her hand with the money back. “It’s worth less than that.” He looked up at the merchant with steely eyes.

Juliana could see the merchant was about to lose his temper if the way his face was turning red and his fists clenched at his sides. “I’ll give you 20 silver,” she looked at Nerien for confirmation, when she received a small nod she continued, “and I won’t tell anyone about your inflated prices.” That seemed to make the merchant seethe more, but he accepted and Juliana guided Nerien away. “That was a close one,” she said under her breath as she tousled his hair.

“Can we say goodbye?” Nerien asked when they were about to walk past the healing tents. He looked so hopeful and Juliana really couldn’t deny him this when he hadn’t been able to do so with his own family.

“Sure,” and she led them to the nameless woman’s tent.

* * *

“Be quick about it,” Juliana said as she stood off to the front of the tent while Nerien moved to the bed.

She watched as the boy carefully stepped up to the woman and placed a hand on the woman’s forehead, likely sending silent prayers to his gods to help the woman. He was about to move back when the woman reached for his wrist and he froze in place.

“What’s going on?” the woman asked as she sat up letting out a quiet groan.

“We’re leaving,” Nerien answered, pulling his wrist from her hold and stepping back towards Juliana.

“Leaving? What?” she asked, still confused and drowsy from sleep.

“We’re sorry to wake you, but he wanted to say goodbye,” Juliana explained. The woman nodded groggily. “We must be going now, though. I hope you recover well,” she said and started pulling the tent’s flap up.

“Wait,” the woman called out. “What did you do? I was in so much pain yesterday, but now it’s almost like nothing happened.”

Juliana felt her hands start sweating. “Well, I don’t know what to say. The Maker must have something planned for you,” she tried. The woman looked at her skeptically but remained silent. “Let’s go,” she said, reaching for Nerien and he moved to walk out of the tent.

“Wait!” The woman called out. “Where are you going, maybe I could come with you?” She rushed to put on some trousers that had been left beside the bed and slipped on a cotton shirt.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Juliana answered with a grimace.

“Please,” the woman pleaded. “If Loghain’s men find me they’ll kill me. My squire…” she trailed off sadly. “I don’t have anyone.”

Nerien pulled at Juliana’s sleeve and she looked down to find green eyes pleading with her. Juliana pursed her lips, breathed in sharply and closed her eyes before blinking them open slowly. “Fine, but we have to leave now. We’ll be waiting for you at the edge of town.” The woman gave her the brightest smile possible and Juliana paid no mind to the way her chest tightened at the sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay safe! don't go outside! eat cake! and leave comments because they motivate me.
> 
> hope you liked this chapter :) I'll see you all 'round the river bend.
> 
> i've been watching too many old movies.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They start making their way to Redcliffe. Juliana's secret is out and she shares a moment with Valentina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They might be ooc but like, war does things to people, so that's how I'm explaining it away

Nerien was leading the way to the Imperial Highway while Juliana walked beside the nameless woman.

“What’s your name?” Nerien asked suddenly, turning his bright eyes towards the woman. Juliana saw the instant the woman fell victim to his gaze.

“Valentina,” the woman, Valentina, answered with a small smile. “And yours?”

“I’m Nerien,” he answered with a cheerful grin. “She’s Juliana.” Juliana smiled uncomfortably and fidgeted, readjusting her bag around her shoulders.

“Well, it’s nice to formally meet you both.”

They finally reached a point where the road split in three directions and Juliana stopped. “So, where do you need to go?” Juliana spoke for the first time since they’d left the village.

Valentina looked surprised at hearing Juliana speak, her eyes had widened slightly and her mouth fell slightly open. “My home is in South Reach, but… I must give my condolences to the king’s uncle. And I have to tell him of Loghain’s betrayal, he has to know the truth.” There was a steely look on her face letting Juliana know that once Valentina set her mind to something, she wouldn’t stop until she got it.

“What?” Juliana asked. “You can’t be serious!” she exclaimed and Valentina looked at her seriously. “Even if we go to Redcliffe, because I’m assuming that’s the uncle you’re referring to,” Valentina nodded, “how can you be so sure that he’ll listen to you?”

“He and my father are good friends,” she responded. “I was a trusted friend of Cailan’s, Eamon will trust me.”

Juliana stopped at the way Valentina casually said the names of some of the most powerful men of the country. Nerien was standing quietly beside them, though at the increasing tension, he moved closer to Juliana. “What did you say your name was?” Juliana asked because there was more to Valentina than she let on. There was no way she was travelling with a simple soldier or knight.

“Valentina… Carvajal,” she finished lamely, almost as if she wanted to keep her identity a secret.

“Oh, Maker! You’re the Arl of South Reach’s daughter! ” Juliana said loudly, her brow furrowing. She brought her hands up to cover her face and Valentina seemed to shrink back slightly. She paced back and forth for a few moments thinking about what she would do; Nerien just stood behind her, looking on with a questioning gaze. “Okay,” she muttered as she slowed to a stop. “If we take you to Redcliffe, and get you home to South Reach, you have to help us get to Gwaren,” she said firmly.

“Anything,” Valentina breathed, a more relieved expression settling over her features.

“Lead the way, my lady,” Juliana said as she bowed slightly extending her hand in front of her, her voice flat and bored.

* * *

“I thought you would be more upset about taking her with us,” Nerien whispered, as they fell back a few steps.

“I’m not thrilled,” Juliana said just as quietly. “But if we help her, she might give us money and we can leave Ferelden.” When she finished she realized that there was something she had forgotten about. “We never discussed what we would do about finding your clan,” she said, her eyes taking on a sadder glint.

Nerien hung his head. Juliana looked at him sadly and pulled him into her side. “I haven’t thought about it,” he said after long moments in silence.

“It’s alright, what happened in Lothering came up so suddenly that we barely even slept, you don’t have to know just yet,” Juliana soothed. “But when you’re ready, when you’ve made a decision, I’ll be here and I’ll help you with whatever choice you make.”

“What if I want to stay with you?” he asked, looking up.

Juliana looked down at him and found hopeful green eyes looking back. “Whatever you decide,” she repeated. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist causing them both to stop, and Juliana hugged him just as tightly.

* * *

“I think we should find a place to make camp for the night,” Valentina said, looking up to the darkening sky. She turned to look behind her and found Juliana walking with Nerien dozing quietly on her back. “I guess we should have stopped earlier,” she added apologetically.

Juliana smiled at her tightly. “No point in regretting it now,” Juliana said quietly. “We should head into the trees, we’ll be safer if we can’t be spotted.”

Valentina knew that Juliana wasn’t thrilled with her joining the pair, but she’d hoped that through the day the woman would warm up to her. To her disappointment, Juliana had barely said a word to her and when she did it was always short words and barely there glances. She felt like she was intruding and she couldn’t for the life of her figure out what it was. For now, all she could do was follow after Juliana as she led them to a small clearing behind a thick wall of vines and some trees.

She watched as Juliana carefully nudged at the small elf boy to wake up before setting him down and she smiled at how much the woman cared for the boy. Even if she’d only known them for a day at the most, she could tell that there was a lot of affection for each other between them. 

“You two are close,” Valentina said, breaking the silence.

Juliana looked up at her with a blank stare and nodded her head. Valentina stood awkwardly before deciding to go in search of wood for a fire. When she returned she was surprised to find that there were two small tents put up and a couple of logs around a dirt pit. She dropped the wood in her arms into the pit and started preparing them for a fire.

“I’m going to see if I find anything edible,” Juliana said as she started walking in the opposite direction Valentina had come from. Valentina nodded silently and carefully tried to light a fire. When she finally started the fire, she sat on a log and watched the flames lick the wood as they reached out towards the sky.

“Where is Juliana?” Nerien asked as he climbed out from one of the tents, his hair messy from sleep.

“She went to look for something to eat,” Valentina said quietly as Nerien stood up and made his way over to the other log around the fire. “She doesn’t like me, does she?”

Nerien looked up from the fire and she was shocked to see that his eyes seemed to glow in the firelight. “She doesn’t trust you. She doesn’t trust anyone.”

“She seems to trust you.”

He hummed and rested his head on his raised knees. They didn’t say anything for long minutes and Valentina enjoyed the quiet peace that fell over them. “Juliana!” Nerien shouted as he looked up and Valentina turned around to find Juliana walking up to them, a couple of squirrels hanging from a string. She watched as Juliana smiled warmly at the boy before looking at her and giving her a small kind smile.

“I see you’re up now,” she teased as she took a seat next to Nerien. “And you got the fire started.” Valentina was surprised that Juliana acknowledged her but nodded quickly. And that was it for a while. Nerien and her went about skinning the squirrels in silence before setting them over the fire to cook. When they were done Juliana handed Valentina a piece and she looked at it with a hesitant gaze. “You have to eat something,” Juliana said, her voice a bit irritated. “We won’t be in Redcliffe for another few days at least.” Valentina reluctantly took the meat and took a bite, surprised at how not squirrel-y it tasted.

She watched as Juliana made sure Nerien was comfortable and had enough to eat, even handing him some of her food when he looked at it a little longingly. Valentina smiled; she didn’t know what their relationship was, how they knew each other, or anything about them, really, but she knew that they cared for each other. It reminded her of how she and her brother Guillermo used to be when they were younger, before he had been forced to marry, and now he barely spent any time with her, though she knew he still cared. It also reminded her a bit of how Eva used to be, before she started resenting her father for forcing an engagement and the subsequent marriage that led to her moving across the country.

Her gaze returned to the pair when Nerien stood up and headed to the tent, but not before Juliana messed his hair a little with a gentle smile. Valentina took the opportunity to move a bit closer, and hopefully strike up a conversation. The silence she’d been through all day was the most time she’d ever spent silent since she could remember.

“I know you’re hiding something,” Valentina started and as soon as the words slipped out she knew it was a mistake. Juliana turned to look at her sharply with her jaw clenched tightly. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, “I don’t mean anything by it.”

“What do you mean by it, then?”

“I- I just don’t like being lied to,” Valentina replied honestly. She’s been lied to enough times already that she really just wants someone to not treat her like she’s a child. Her brother and sister lied when they told her nothing would change when they got married, and now she barely spoke to either of them. Her father lied to her when he told her she could be whatever she wanted, although she figured the ‘as long as I approve’ was implied, but she’d just been so excited that she hadn’t even thought of it.

Juliana hummed but didn’t rush to say anything. Her eyes were trained on the flicking flames and Valentina wondered what was going through her mind. “Nerien said you don’t trust anyone,” Valentina said again after long minutes of silence, and once again, it was the wrong thing to say. Juliana’s gaze turned fierce, and she was sure she was just imagining it, but the fire seemed to grow brighter and warmer.

“Trust is earned, and I don’t hand out my trust easily,” Juliana says, her tone cold. Valentina nodded quietly to herself, understanding that at least for now, that would be all she was getting. “You should get some rest,” Juliana said after an extended silence. “You’re still hurt, I’ll keep watch.” Valentina was stunned by the kindness, though it wasn’t obvious from the awkward tone Juliana used. She stood up and climbed into the empty tent and laid on her back.

She couldn’t sleep, her mind kept running over everything that happened over the last few days. Losing Alberto was still so raw and she hadn’t given herself the time or the chance to grieve. He was a friend, and although she knew he followed her father’s orders, she was still thankful that she had him at her side most of the time. A constant presence at her back, a protective shield who she knew would give his life for hers if it came to that.

Cailan’s death also hit her with the force of a thousand men. Followed by the realization that his widow was now sitting on the throne. And that was another thing all together, because she doubted that Anora knew her father had betrayed her husband, doubted Loghain would ever bring it up at all. Anora was a sweet girl, if a bit closed off, but that could be explained given her father had raised her without her mother, and she didn’t deserve to be lied to.

Then there was joining Juliana and Nerien on a flimsy excuse, knowing that she just didn’t want to be alone, and having both of them at her side the past two days had become a comfort. That was why she really wanted to go with them, Loghain’s men, maybe looking for her was also a great motivator. She didn’t know anyone in the village and while she could have left as soon as she was completely healed, she felt something when she looked at Juliana. She couldn’t explain it and she hadn’t even noticed it until the woman said they were leaving.

In Lothering, she didn’t remember much, but she did remember having flashes of dark hair and brown eyes rushing to her whenever she woke up, only for them to disappear seconds later. It happened every time she woke up and then finally, she’d gotten a full view of the woman and Valentina was drawn in. Something about those eyes and the concern etched into perfect brows had her wanting to see more of them.

Even now, with the cold treatment and the distance, Valentina was still drawn to Juliana. And she had ignored it before, but now that she was in relative privacy, she could finally think about the other woman. Everything was crashing down on her and she didn’t know how to deal with it, so she cried.

She cried and cried, attempting to muffle her tears, though she heard some shuffling outside her tent and that made her stop. She closed her eyes and prayed to the Maker that she would be left alone. It wasn’t long after that her eyes fell closed and she drifted off into sleep.

* * *

Juliana sat watching the flames rise up to the sky, the thin strings of smoke floating off after them. She reached into her bag and pulled out Nerien’s bow and quiver of arrows, having handed them to her for safe keeping until they were out of the village. She held the firm leather under her fingertips and let a finger trail along the seam running down the length of the quiver. Pulling out an arrow, she pressed the arrowhead against her fingertip and flinched when it shot a shock of pain through her finger.

She replaced it and then moved her hand over its length, muttering a spell under her breath. If Nerien was going to use his bow, he needed arrows, and they couldn’t go around picking arrows from targets all the time, so the spell would ensure he had a limitless supply. She drew three arrows out and smiled when three new arrows appeared in their place. Setting it down, she turned her attention back to the fire.

An owl let out a series of ‘hoots’ and she turned to look in its direction but quickly faced the fire again. She couldn’t wrap her head around Valentina. The woman was tall and from having to redress her wounds earlier that week, she knew she was strong. There was nothing about her that would clue Juliana in on why she wanted to travel with them, other than her possibly wanting to get away from Loghain’s men. That still didn’t explain why she wanted to go with them, she could have gone on her own.

As the night wore on, her thoughts started taking a different turn, regarding Valentina. Her mind started replaying the bright smile the woman had sent her way when Juliana had agreed to let her tag along. The intense way her brows settled when she’d made up her mind about where they were going, but by far, the thing that stuck in her mind was the sight of blue eyes. Those bright blue eyes that shone with excitement and joy, but Juliana knew that there was something dark hidden beneath the facade the woman was putting up.

She knew that it was likely all for Nerien’s sake, though she wasn’t completely sure about it. She didn’t want to think about it, but she couldn’t help but wonder what the woman was going through. She had just lost someone who she was really close to, a close friend, the king had just died, and if the teyrn ever found out she was alive, he would go after her. Juliana only had to deal with the templars, and although they were everywhere, they also weren’t all in communication with each other and she could walk in front of their noses and never draw their attention. Valentina on the other hand, came from a well known family and would likely be more recognizable.

Which brought Juliana to the real reason she wasn’t thrilled. Valentina could prove a liability. She didn’t trust her, didn’t know if she could trust her with her biggest secret. Being a mage wasn’t just feared by the Chantry, but most people didn’t like mages in general, and since she was an apostate now, out of the Chantry’s control, she doubted anyone would trust her if they found out. It would come out eventually, she wasn’t under the impression that she could keep her abilities a secret.

That didn’t mean that she couldn’t keep Valentina in the dark for a while to try to get a read on her. Nerien already trusted her, which she considered a good sign, but he was a child and children’s instincts couldn’t always be trusted. With Nerien in mind, she stood up and went to check in on him and smiled when she saw him sleeping easily, his breaths, deep and even.

She was just about to go back to sit on the log by the fire when she heard soft whimpers coming from the other tent. With careful steps, Juliana made her way over and looked into the tent, finding Valentina tossing and turning. Valentina was covered in a light sheen of sweat and the soft whimpers she let out had Juliana’s chest aching.

“Valentina,” she said quietly, still keeping her distance. She tried calling out to her a few more times, but then Valentina started tossing and turning violently and Juliana worried she would hurt herself.

Juliana knew enough about nightmares to not wake a person up from one, so she hesitantly entered the tent and tried to make her way up to where Valentina’s head was. She knelt beside her and pulled the shaking woman onto her lap, running her fingers gently through her hair and quietly murmuring soothing words. It was long minutes before Valentina’s body stopped shaking, her entire form falling limp into Juliana.

When the girl had finally calmed and her breathing returned to normal, Juliana tried to move away but Valentina had a vice grip on the arm wrapped around her chest. She resigned herself to being stuck in that position for the foreseeable future and slumped, trying to maneuver herself to her side without jostling the sleeping woman.

* * *

Hours later, the sun made its presence known and a few birds started their songs. Juliana slipped out from Valentina’s grip and exited the tent and stretched her body, releasing the tension in her muscles. The fire had burnt out through the night and she set about cleaning away the ashes and covering their fire pit. They didn’t have much in the way of food but she had managed to get a bit of cheese, bread and fruit from Lothering before they left, and she hoped it was enough for the three of them.

Nerien was the first to exit his tent and he smiled when he saw Juliana. He sat next to her and took the cheese and bread she offered as she herself took a bite. “I should start packing up your tent,” Juliana said as she stood up.

It was a few minutes later that Valentina woke up and re-entered their small camp, her hands rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Good morning,” she greeted as she took a seat next to Nerien.

“Good morning,” Nerien replied, handing her some food. “How did you sleep?”

“Good,” she answered with a soft smile. “I had the weirdest dream though.” Nerien looked at her expectantly and she continued. “I was having a nightmare, but then I suddenly felt someone holding me and they brought me back from it.”

“What was your nightmare about?” he asked, curious.

“The battle.” Her eyes shifted to the ground and tried to fight back the flashbacks of that night. She was so focused on staring at the ground intently that she didn’t notice their campsite was completely packed away until she looked up minutes later.

Juliana was looking at her with a sympathetic gaze and Valentina had to look away at the intensity of her stare. She looked up when she felt Juliana’s presence over her and was surprised to find a kind smile directed at her. Gone was the cold gaze and almost indifferent behavior she’d been met with yesterday, and Valentina wondered what happened to make Juliana warm up to her.

She noticed the bare campsite and raised her brows in question. She asked what happened to their tents but both Nerien and Juliana remained silent. Valentina didn’t push but she also didn’t want to push her luck with the pair so she remained quiet.

* * *

The answer would come to her four days later.

Every time they set up camp for the night Nerien would drag her into the woods to help him hunt. He and Juliana both argued that he couldn’t go out on his own and Valentina couldn’t really argue. She offered to help set up camp once but Juliana had gotten a panicked look in her eyes and Valentina caved, following Nerien into the trees. When they came back the tents were all set up and a small fire was going.

Tonight was no different. When Valentina and Nerien came back, Nerien held their dinner because Valentina was too squeamish around the dead animals, the fire was already burning easily. Dinner was cooked and light conversation surrounded them as they ate. Juliana still didn’t talk to her much, choosing to lead or lag behind on her own, occasionally accompanied by Nerien. Valentina tried to talk to Juliana sometimes, and she was glad that Juliana didn’t shut her down immediately, but she could feel that there was something the other woman was keeping from her, and that created a solid barrier between them.

When they were done eating, the sun was already long below the horizon and Nerien had already gone to bed, an unspoken agreement between them that he would never have to keep watch. Juliana was laying on the ground, resting her head against a log and looking up at the sky. Valentina let her eyes take in the striking woman, the sharp angle of her jaw, the gentle slope of her nose and the soft curve of her lips. The fire was doing everything right, illuminating every feature and either sharpening or softening them.

She was just about to say something, her lips parting, when Juliana made to stand up. “I think I’m going to bed now,” she said with a soft smile; it was Valentina’s turn to keep watch at night. Valentina returned the soft smile back, then turned her gaze to the burning fire.

The night was quiet, a few owls letting their calls ring through the night sky. Her eyes started falling closed after a few hours, she had never really been able to stay awake through the night, usually drifting off into a light sleep a few hours past midnight. A hazy dream was starting to take shape, gorgeous brown eyes staring at her intensely, but she couldn’t make out a face, though she knew who she wanted it to be but she woke up with a start.

She could hear leaves rusting behind her. It was soft and distant, but she couldn’t ignore it. The sound seemed to get louder with each passing moment and she couldn’t let whatever it was get any closer. She grabbed at the sword that hung off her belt, having acquired it a couple days ago from a small town village they were passing through. She unsheathed her sword and quietly moved into the woods.

The moon was shining through the tree canopy, casting long shadows on the ground. Every few feet she would hear a loud growl and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up on edge. She made it through a group of trees and found a terrible sight before her.

In the clearing there was a giant bear, larger than even the largest normal bear and it had spikes protruding through its bloody flesh. There were patches of fur missing, blood matting whatever was left and turning it a dark dirty color. Valentina tried not to scream at the sight of the beast digging into the corpse of a deer, entrails falling out and coating the forest floor with blood. She took a step back, then there was a snap.

Looking down, she found a twig snapped in half. There was another growl, loud and angry. Her eyes looked up and found the monstrous bear looking at her. Black beady eyes focused on her, large paws began to paw at the ground beneath them. Valentina felt her blood freeze in her veins, her grip on the sword made her fingers go white. There was a moment of perfect silence. The owls in the trees seemed to know something was going to happen, their song stopping at the new growl the freak bear made.

It happened quickly. She barely had a second to think before the monster charged at her, its strong legs pushing it forward. Valentina’s arm strained with the force she needed to exert into it so she could even land a scratch on the beast. She could feel fatigue seeping into her body the longer she fought against it and it was easily gaining on her.

She could smell its hot breath blowing over her face and she tried to swing directly at its face, cutting deep enough to have it retreat. She let her arm fall, hoping to regain some strength once she caught her breath, but then it was on top of her, pushing her into the ground and she screamed, one of its paws striking her side. Her heart had fallen into her stomach and she couldn’t make out anything other than its sharp teeth inching closer to then bite at her.

Valentina had completely given up and she let her body lay limp on the forest floor, sending a final prayer to the Maker to make it quick. Its muzzle was inches from her face and she prepared herself for the pain that would come, but it didn’t. She opened her eyes and blinked in shock. The beast was still there but it didn’t seem to be breathing and there was a light dusting of frost covering its entire body.

She felt hands wrap around her and pulled her out, her body remained frozen. “Come on, we have to go,” a voice whispered frantically and she realized it was Juliana. She shook her head, clearing her mind of the terror she had just been overcome with and her blue eyes met worried brown. Valentina felt herself nod and tried to stand on her own legs, but then there was a loud roar behind her and she froze, falling to her knees.

Again, she expected pain but there was nothing. She looked up and found Juliana standing protectively in front of her, her arms raised and a burst of invisible force pulsed from her hands, pushing the beast back. Juliana then turned to her and helped her to her feet, wrapping an arm around Valentina’s waist while pulling one of her arms over her shoulder.

Valentina heard heavy footsteps following after them and she felt her knees go weak but Juliana held onto her tightly. There was a quiet murmur, she couldn’t make out any words but she felt Juliana turning them slightly to face the quickly approaching beast, throwing her hand out. Seconds later the bear slowed, its steps unsteady and its body leaned heavily to one side every time it took another step.

Juliana started tugging at Valentina and she turned to find brown eyes steadily focused on the beast behind them. Then she turned to look behind her. There was a sudden explosion, the sound of flesh being torn apart and falling feet away. Valentina was stunned, the beast was no longer there, its dismembered body spread over the forest floor.

“We can’t stay here, let’s go,” Juliana said, louder this time and started pulling Valentina away from the scene.

When they were back at the camp, Juliana hadn’t said another word. Valentina wanted to say something, thank the woman for saving her but she couldn’t find the words. She watched as Juliana quickly moved around her, pulling Valentina’s shirt off and immediately moving to clean the claw marks the bear had managed to leave on her sides. The bleeding was quickly stopped with a light glow emanating from Juliana’s fingers but Valentina made no comment.

She watched as careful fingers moved carefully around the open wounds and bandaged them up. Juliana looked up at her with concerned brown eyes and Valentina felt a surge of warmth expand from her chest. Then her gaze turned shy and hesitant, her hands pulled into her chest and her fingers fidgeted.

“You can’t tell anyone,” Juliana said quietly.

Valentina looked at her questioningly, wondering what exactly she couldn’t tell anyone. Juliana wouldn’t meet her gaze and it left Valentina running through everything that happened and she was struck by what had actually happened.

Juliana was a mage. It was the only explanation, but she was also clearly not with the Circle. Juliana was an apostate and she’d just used magic to save Valentina’s life. The warmth in her chest turned to protectiveness, because now she understood why Juliana was being so distant. Sure, it could have been that the woman just wasn’t very comfortable around new people and that she liked her privacy, but the way she was with Nerien could be used to disprove that.

Valentina now understood that keeping her at a distance was a way to protect herself. Juliana didn’t know if she could trust Valentina, didn’t know how she would react and if she would go running to templars to tell them about her.

“I won’t. I promise,” Valentina swore. How could she not. Juliana had risked her own safety for Valentina, and thinking back, saving Valentina might have been what had Juliana leaving Lothering in the first place.

Juliana gave her a tight lipped smile before standing up and moving away. Valentina watched as she looked into Nerien’s tent before walking back to the fire that was only a few dying embers. Juliana waved her hand over them and reignited the fire and sat on the log Valentina was sitting on.

* * *

Juliana watched the flickering flames dance in front of her. Her mind was still reeling over what happened just minutes ago. She doesn’t really remember much, only that she’d woken up from a nightmare and stepped out of her tent for some fresh air. When she didn’t see Valentina keeping watch, she rolled her eyes and was preparing herself to tell the woman off about how their survival depended on each of them doing their job.

It wasn’t until she heard a loud growl that she let herself focus on the forest. She moved towards the sound carefully, hoping that it was just an animal that had gotten too close. Juliana was almost certain she’d just been hearing things when she approached a small clearing. There was a dead deer, its entrails spilled out onto the forest floor and she wrinkled her nose at the sight.

Then she heard a clashing of metal against something she couldn’t identify and she moved to investigate. Her steps were slow and careful until she saw a head of light brown hair splayed on the ground and a massive mutated bear moving its head down, snarling and showing its teeth to its victim. The person beneath screamed.

She didn’t even hesitate. She acted without a thought, casting a spell Leanos had taught her before he left, saying that it was likely going to save her life more than she expected. She laughed it off at the time, but now she thought he was right. Without it, she wouldn’t be able to get close enough to move the person underneath the beast. The beast was frozen in place, frost covering its matted patchy fur and she approached quickly.

It was Valentina under the beast and she had to shake her head to physically get out of her thoughts and pull the woman away. Then everything was a blur until they were back at camp and then she fell into robotic movements, making sure Valentina wasn’t hurt too badly and that the bleeding was stopped.

When she was done with Valentina she felt a deep urge to make sure Nerien was okay before she returned to the other woman. Her secret was out now and Valentina didn’t seem upset or ready to give her up, so she found some comfort in that.

Now she sat in silence beside the other woman, her eyes trained on the flames but her mind was trying to figure out how to breach this new subject with Valentina.

“I ran away from the Circle Tower,” Juliana said after about an hour of silence. The moon was already starting to set. Valentina didn’t say anything, but Juliana felt her eyes on her, but remained staring at the fire. “They wanted to make me Tranquil.” She didn’t expect Valentina to know what it meant, most ‘normal’ people never even interacted with mages, so she was surprised when she heard a small gasp coming from the girl beside her.

“And now you’re on the run,” Valentina said softly, her words coming out in a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Juliana said, her tone icy and a little bitter. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, realizing she was snapping at the other girl. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. Valentina placed a warm hand on hers and Juliana looked up. “It’s hard,” she started, “to not feel resentful.”

“How long were you there?” Valentina asked, her voice soft, letting Juliana know that she accepted her apology.

“Almost my entire life,” Juliana answered, her voice breaking at the end. “The templars came for me when I was four.” She wiped at the tears that wanted to slip from her eyes. “I was there for twenty years. I had never been outside the tower for more than a few hours when we went to the docks.”

Valentina sat silently, listening to everything Juliana was saying and Juliana felt that Valentina actually understood. That she somehow knew what Juliana had gone through. She could see it in the way Valentina’s own eyes watered, how her hands clenched into fists and how she bit her lip.

And Juliana talked. She talked until she had set loose everything she’d been feeling since she fled the Circle. How she hated that the only place she could find comfort recently was in the Chantry. Valentina listened and held her hand as she talked about losing Leanos who had been with her from the beginning. How she missed having that sense of family with him and how even now, she still missed being in the Circle Tower.

It was odd really, even to her, missing the place that had kept her locked away her entire life. She missed her friends, the enchanters who always tried to remind them that there was still good in the world. She missed First Enchanter Irving who would drone on about the order of things, she missed how he sometimes let the younger apprentices run around and prank the enchanters and even some templars.

She missed the familiarity and the comfort that came from knowing that she had a place to sleep, food to eat, a place to learn. Even now, she still considered Kinloch Hold her home; it wasn’t like she had anywhere else to call home. It was the only place she’d ever known, she didn’t even remember her mother; years ago she’d lost every memory she had of her, the only thing remaining was the feeling of safety she had. Now it was all gone and she was drifting through the world, Nerien being the only one keeping her grounded because she needed him to be happy and safe.

Juliana shared all of this with Valentina and she shocked herself at how easy it was, even if she now had tear tracks running down her cheeks. It may have been the need to relieve some of the overbearing weight in her chest, but deep down she knew that she wanted to tell Valentina. Maybe she wanted to tell her when she met her blue gaze the first time, or maybe it was when she saw her weaving a flower crown and setting it on Nerien’s head with a happy smile. She couldn’t pin-point the exact moment, but at some point over the last few days, she had felt the beginnings of a crush.

Valentina was all warm smiles and easy laughs. She spun wild stories that made Nerien laugh and Juliana would deny this if anyone asked, but she also laughed along, especially when the stories were accompanied by funny faces. She would also deny any mentions of a blush when Valentina weaved a flower crown for her and stood a little closer than necessary to set in on her head. The taller girl was all soft touches and constant chatter, even if it was nonsensical, just something to accompany the long trip ahead of them and Juliana felt a warmth grow in her chest every time she saw her smile.

Juliana felt arms wrap around her and she felt her chest loosen at the embrace. Her words had caught in her throat and Valentina was all around her. Her strong arms were steady and solid around her, bringing her back into the present and she couldn’t help but breathe the other girl in. She let herself fall apart in the other girl’s arms and felt a small part of her start building itself up again. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough that it shifted how she felt about Valentina from that moment on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know I feel about this chapter, but whatevs.
> 
> I started playing the game again, so hopefully I'll be updating again soon.


End file.
